


Crazy For You

by elimak



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Sexual Content, real life AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-18
Updated: 2013-07-11
Packaged: 2017-12-08 21:15:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 34,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/766089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elimak/pseuds/elimak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frerard. Gerard, in a moment of desperation and sexual frustration, decides to call a sex hotline. he intends to make it a one time thing but things take an unexpected turn. This was written as a request for a friend of mine. Hope I got everything right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Once Upon a Phone Call

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mothergerard](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=mothergerard).



The phone was staring back at him judgingly. Well if it could stare it would definitely be judging him. The crumpled piece of paper was being folded an unfolded in his hand. Every time he unfolded it he would stare at the number messily scribbled across it, think about reaching for the phone, then fold it back again shaking his head and continue to stare at the phone which, it seemed, was staring back at him saying ‘just get on with it already’.

It just wasn’t something that someone like Gerard Way would normally do. He felt embarrassed just thinking about it. No. He made up his mind. Gerard put the piece of paper down on the table and pushed it away from him. This was way too pathetic, even for him. Was he really that desperate and lonely that he would give in to such easy temptation? Though, then again he was 24 and living with his mother, spending his days locked up in his basement room drawing or reading comic books. Actually now that he thought about it, the last time he went out of the house was last Thursday when the new edition of Hell Boy came out. Alright maybe he was a bit pathetic. Just a bit. And just a tad lonely.

He looked down at the dark wooden floor, ran his hand through his messy black locks that needed chopping off and picked up the phone. Who even cares, he thought before straightening out the little piece of paper. It’s not like he was going to tell anyone that he actually did something like this. Gerard tried to calm himself that this was a perfectly normal thing to do. He was lonely and desperate yes, but it wasn’t like anyone would want him like this anyway and he wasn’t going out to pick up someone off the street either. At least this way he wouldn’t be breaking the law. Gerard kept repeating it to himself while he punched in the numbers quickly so he wouldn’t have a chance to change his mind again. 

Gerard placed the phone to his ear and listened to the mechanic beeps while his heart was beating like mad. His face was flushed a deep red and his breathing was shaky

“Hi” he suddenly heard from the other end. The word was dragged out in a sickly sweet tone by a woman “you’ve reached the hottest hotline in New Jersey. Before you proceed, you need to confirm that you are 18 years old or older.” she said in the same tone of voice. The line must’ve been rehearsed at least a couple hundred times to make her sound like a porn star. Gerard fidgeted in his seat uncomfortably realizing he had to speak up when his heart was thumping so loud in his ears he could barely hear.

“Y-yeah I’m over 18” he stammered out after a minute of silence feeling sweat form on his forehead.

“What’s your name sweetie?” she asked quickly after. For a moment Gerard thought he was talking to a robot, a mechanic answering machine because she was talking in the same tone that sounded unnatural but no. He could hear the steady breathing at the other end of the line. Somehow thinking she was a robot was easier.

“Gerard.” he was quicker to answer this time. 

“Well Gerard,” she said with a slight chuckle that was supposed to sound playful and sexy. Though, Gerard just got the impression that she was mocking him “How can we help or please you?” Gerard burrowed his eyebrows in confusion. What did she mean by that? He simply assumed that this woman was the person who would get him off through the phone. What did she mean by ‘can _we_ help you?’ Is she not alone? Is Gerard going to have to talk and listen to other people apart from her? Or is she some sort of receptionist that directs clients to others? 

Gerard started stammering incoherent things, thinking he’ll just have to hang up when the woman spoke again

“You haven’t really done this before, have you?” she asked in what hopefully wasn’t pity in her voice. Gerard let out a breath and admitted nodding to himself

“Yeah, not really.”

“Don’t worry Gerard. I’ll guide you all the way through it then.” she said surprisingly comfortingly. He felt a bit better at that, at least his heart wasn’t about to jump out of his chest.

“If you want, you can continue talking with me, but if you have other preferences I can direct you to another person, though it would be a shame to lose someone like you.” she said trying to keep up her porn star voice. Though, Gerard could hear the difference in her voice now. Clearly this part wasn’t as rehearsed “You can view the people we have here on our team on the website.” she explained and Gerard quickly turned on his laptop. As much as he had no doubt that miss sugar voice lady could do a good job, she wasn’t exactly what Gerard was looking for, what he needed. 

To put it simply, he hadn’t had sex or had any physical or intimate encounters with another person for about half a year. Six long months. Ever since he got the opportunity to work from home he didn’t feel the need to go out and party or meet new people. Why should he? He was perfectly comfortable sitting home alone, doing what he likes. This was the small drawback to this celibate lifestyle though. After three months of getting off to porn somehow handjobs didn’t feel as good and effective anymore. He was starting to crave another’s touch, the feeling you get when you realize you’re wanted. When, there’s skin against skin, bodies slick with sweat, sweet puffs of air right next to your ear. But Gerard was still against the idea of going out. No way. He can’t handle being in crowds or trying to hit on someone when he’s sober.

And now another three months later he was really desperate, he had to come up with a new way of getting off. He thought about cybersex but it’s not exactly dependable and you never know the person you’re talking to may be just taking the piss out of you and laughing their head off. So this was the next best option. He thought as he scrolled through the website, looking at the people who were willing to give him what he needed. There weren’t that many people, about a dozen of them. Gerard viewed them quickly and saw that he probably won’t get anything better than sugar voice lady over here that was waiting for him to make a decision on the other line.

Gerard was just about to say that he’ll stick with her after all when he saw the last person on the list, which made him choke on his words.

He didn’t look above 25 and yes it was a he. Gerard had always known that he was attracted to both men and women but he always went for the latter when it came to dating and such. He only enjoyed men’s company when he was in college while getting drunk or stoned nearly every night. Though in all his life he had never seen a man like this, the name tag read “Frank”. Gerard didn’t know how to begin to describe him, though the first thing he noticed he had to admit was his naked torso marked in various pieces of art that made Gerard’s mouth water. The picture wasn’t big but it was enough for him. Next his eyes fell upon his shaggy black hair and his innocent looking face. While all the others on the list were trying to pull off a sexy smirk or a seductive look Frank was staring at him under his heavy eyelids in the most pure and childish way. He had perfectly shaped eyebrows and a small nose which, Gerard squinted at the screen trying to see, seemed to have been pierced, along with his pouty bottom lip. On the whole he looked like a punk kid who lets say worked as an internship at a tattoo parlor. He wasn’t very muscular, he didn’t have a six-pack or anything but he seemed pretty strong nonetheless. Only now Gerard’s eyes fell upon his hands. Frank’s long fingers were hooked on his jeans front belt loops by which he, casually and maybe even accidentally, was pushing his pants slightly down revealing his happy trail and just the tip begging of his pubes.

Gerard swallowed loudly before saying

“Is uh… Frank? Available?” he asked uncertainly. The woman on the other line giggled lightly again

“Oh I see what you like. You may have to wait a minute or two before Frankie can take you, but I can promise you Gerard, it’s worth the wait.” she said, her sickly sweet voice back again. He muttered “okay” but there was no one on the other line to hear him. 

Oh my god he was actually going to go through with this. He was actually going to have phone sex with a dude named _Frankie_ and pay 5$ a minute for it. Gerard put his face in his free hand trying to calm down his breathing again. While there was a bit of time he at least made himself comfortable.

The room was almost completely dark. The only source of light was his still open laptop at the foot of the bed. Gerard squished himself in the corner of the bed, his back resting on the poster covered wall. He put some blankets over himself not because he was cold but if he was gonna start jacking off at least he wouldn’t see himself do it and maybe feel a little less self-conscious. Gerard threw the few comics he had on his bed away from him so they wouldn’t get dirty and covered in… well something nasty, let’s leave it at that. And that was when he heard a click on the other line 

“Hey there” a man’s voice drawled out. Gerard froze in place, his eyes wide and his breath caught up in his throat again. He sounded nothing like sugar voice lady. Instead of fake and giggly and sweet, this guy’s voice was deeper, mysterious and breathy, like he had just gotten back from a smoke break. From his tone of voice it didn’t seem like he was trying to seduce him, but more like he talked like this every day and he was so relaxed right now that the seducing part came naturally to him.

“Hey” was all that Gerard could say

“Sorry you had to wait, I can promise I’ll make up for the lost time though.” he said lazily and Gerard could hear him smile at his last words “So I hear you’ve never done this Gerard.” he said. It wasn’t exactly a question but Gerard still answered nonetheless

“Yeah, kind of.” his pulse went back to normal somehow. Frank’s voice was relaxed and it made him a bit more relaxed in return. Gerard sank in deeper into the bed, feeling the tension slightly decreasing. 

“Don’t worry babe and just relax” Frank said and Gerard cringed a bit. There was no way in hell anyone was going to call him that. Not anymore.

“Yeah just don’t call me babe, please.” he asked feeling a bit more confident in his words. 

“Well what do you want me to call you then?” he asked with a slight chuckle

“Anything else will do.” Gerard said after a moment’s thought. 

“Whatever you say Gerard, I’m at your command.” Gerard shivered a bit at those words “So what are you doing?”

“I’m just lying in my bed, nothing special.” he said casually, shrugging a bit when it hit him that maybe he should have said something seductive or at least something to suggest he was in the mood for this. God he was so bad at this.

“Really? Hmm…You lying sprawled out on the bed sounds pretty awesome to me. Are you wearing anything?” Frank fucking _purred_ in his ear. Gerard looked down on himself, he didn’t even bother to take off his hoodie but he guessed he should play along

“No?” he said uncertainly. Tension was back in his muscles. He had no idea how to do this. This was followed by a brief silence and then

“Are you really above 18?” Frank asked though his voice lost none of its charm unlike the sweet voiced lady

“Uh yeah,” Gerard said burrowing his eyebrows “I’m 24.”

“Yeah? Well then I guess dirty talk just isn’t your strong point.” Frank said and continued quickly after “Just listen to me talk and feel free to join on whenever you like.”

“I’m gonna go ahead and tell you what I’m doing then. I’m sitting on a couch in this stuffy dark room all alone, and fuck it’s hot in here.” Gerard closed his eyes and sank into his bed again listening intently “The thought of you lying on your bed, all completely naked is making everything even hotter. Fuck it, I’ll just have to take off my shirt.”

Gerard could hear a short pause after this and heard some sort of rustling sound. He wondered whether Frank really took his shirt off or if it was just an act “Mmm… much better now. But it’s still not enough. It’s still hot in here. I’m burning up.” he said, his words rolled off his tongue lazily one after one. Gerard had no idea how Frank was doing it with his voice but he seemed to be raising the tension and the excitement so naturally.

“I’m trailing my hand down my chest, slightly playing with my nipples and then all the way down to my stomach wishing it was your hand that was doing that. I wish it was you that were making me feel excited and fucking horny just with your hands touching my skin.” Gerard let out a shaky breath remembering the way Frank’s torso looked, all toned and colorful and felt himself starting to get a bit excited as well. Frank’s narrative was so capturing and enthralling he could just listen to him speak the entire time.

“ _Oh…_ I wonder what it would be like touching you like that. Just lightly trailing my fingers along your skin and make you shiver from pleasure and moan softly.” Gerard didn’t realize he had his mouth open by then. His free hand almost involuntarily went under his hoodie and shirt, lightly touching his stomach and chest just the way Frank described. And fuck it _did_ feel good. It was a bit ticklish but in a good way. Gerard suddenly sighted loudly from the feeling.

“Mmm… and I bet you taste even better. Damn I just want to lick every patch of your skin I can find, to tease and play with your nipples until you _writhe_ beneath me.” Frank almost growled the last part, giving his voice a bit of roughness and domination. Gerard’s hands automatically went up to his chest as he did what Frank was saying.

“I’d move my body against yours as I would go up and start biting your neck, marking you all to myself. And I wouldn’t stop moving my hips against yours while I do that. Just moving back and forth, back and forth creating delicious friction.” Frank all but purred in his ear. Gerard’s breathing picked up the pace again but this time it wasn’t from being nervous, Gerard was close to starting to pant. Frank’s voice was also a pitch higher right now, like he was getting just as turned on by it too.

“My pants are getting tighter, oh fuck… it feels so good to cup the growing bulge in my pants. I wish you could see it Gerard, _feel_ it. So you’d know just how hard I’m getting for you, how much I want you right here and now.” Gerard was ready to say something back but his mouth went dry. He couldn’t help but cup his own growing bulge under the blankets whimpering slightly at the contact.

“Am I turning you on too Gerard? _Uh_ I’d love to just move my hand down and trail it across your hips and thighs, seeing your big cock grow from my touch.” Gerard was positively panting right now. He still didn’t quite understand what was about Frank that made him feel like this. Gerard was for once eager to explore himself, his body than to just have a quick few strokes and be done with it. So he slowly undid the button of his pants, slowly trailing the new exposed skin with his fingers.

“I’d love to hear you whimper and beg, in that sweet voice of yours. Fuck now I have to take off my pants because I can’t take it anymore, I need to touch myself. You’re driving me crazy Gerard.” he whimpered. One of Gerard’s favorite things was to hear Frank say his name like that. Then Gerard could hear some rustling once again and then _oh…_ Frank just emitted he most throaty moan with Gerard’s name on his lips. Gerard could imagine Frank just sitting there, eagerly jumping out of his pants, gripping his cock and throwing his head back in pleasure. Somewhere at the back of his mind he realized this was just acting but for now he didn’t want to believe that. Because it felt real, it sounded real and his raging boner was definitely real.

“I’m imagining that this is your hand stroking my dick and _oh god_ it feels good. I’d love to feel your dick in my hand too, slowly stroking it from the base to the very tip.” Gerard finally reached down into his pants and oh fuck, he didn’t remember when a single touch had felt so _good._ So he pushed down his pants down to his thighs and firmly griped himself just the way Frankie was describing.

“…while my lips would find their way to your jaw line, gently licking and biting it until I finally reach your lips.”

“God I want to kiss you.” Gerard blurted out while imagining it. He was so lost in all of this, in the sound of Frank’s voice and his words nothing else seemed to matter to him. For now he had no life, no job, no friends, and no family only Frank on the other end of the line who was making him feel like his life depended on this phone call.

“Yeah?” Gerard heard Frank smile while panting “You want me to kiss and bite on your bottom lip?”

“Fuck that’s all I could think about when I saw your photo. I kept wondering how your lip ring would feel like against my mouth, how I’d take in to my mouth and nibble on it.” Gerard said honestly, stroking himself lazily, wanting this to last as long as it could.

“Mmm… I love it when people do that. I just want to grab your hair and push your face against mine and thrust my tongue in and out of your mouth.” the growling voice was back

“I want that so much. I want you being rough with me like that and just take and use me.” Gerard gripped his dick tighter

“Yeah I could tell you like to be controlled. You want me to be in charge and make you moan and lose yourself completely so that you can’t even talk, think or _breathe_ properly anymore.” Frank’s voice was getting more intense

“Yes _yes_ , just like that.” Gerard breathed throwing his head back.

“Then do as I say and touch yourself” Frank ordered firmly

“I’m doing that right now. Uh it feels good.”

“Yeah? You like stroking your big cock for me don’t you? I can just imagine you lying on your bed naked, stroking yourself and looking up at me with the most obedient look on your face, ready to do anything I say.” he growled more to himself than to Gerard actually.

“I’m yours to take” Gerard said simply and heard Frank moan loudly on the other line

“That’s what I like to hear. I’d get you to go down on your knees and suck my cock.” Gerard speeded up his movements because _fuck_ no one has ever ordered him around like that

“I’d love to suck your dick Frankie. I want to take you all in, right to the back of my throat and let you fuck my mouth” Gerard said between moans

“ _Oh shit_ that’s hot” it seemed that for a moment they switched places, Gerard being the one seducing Frank. “Oh you’re opening up so nicely for me Gerard. My cock is sliding so smoothly in your hot wet mouth” by now Gerard was pumping himself at full speed, he couldn’t help himself. Every stroke was getting him closer and closer to the edge.

“You’re moans sound so good Frankie, but your dick in my mouth feels even better” Gerard couldn’t believe how much he actually wanted to feel Frank’s cock, it wasn’t even that he craved it, he was _hungry_ for it.

“Damn you’re a little slut, aren’t you, Gerard? You want me to fuck your mouth nice and hard yeah?”

“I just want you oh… oh. Need you” Gerard was sweaty and he couldn’t formulate words anymore. Pre-come was slicking up his cock nicely, his hips were thrusting and trashing around, he couldn’t hold on for much longer. And as if though Frank could sense that, he went for the kill

“Oh shit I’m getting so close. I’m gonna come right in your mouth, make you taste it and swallow it down your throat. Uh, _uh_ … fuck _Gerard_!” and at the sound of his name being shouted in pure bliss Gerard lost it. He came all over his blanket shouting out way too loudly. He was left feeling empty, boneless and so fucking _good_ he can’t remember the last time he had an orgasm that was this intense. It was a moment or two before Gerard remembered he was still holding a phone to his year

“You there? Gerard asked breathless, feeling tired as hell.

“Yeah I’m here. _Fuck_ ” Frank answered out of breath as well. Gerard wondered if this was just some flawless acting or did he really get off as well.

“Thank you for that. You have no idea how much I needed this.” Gerard admitted

“No problem. I needed this too actually.” Frank said and he sounded honest. His voice was still breathy and lazy but it lost its seductive features. He was talking to him properly and normally. But it lasted very briefly. Gerard could hear his muffled swears and then his seductive voice was back again, a little over stretched this time though

“We hope to hear from you again Gerard.” he said his rehearsed line and hung up. Gerard tore the phone away from his ear and threw it unceremoniously somewhere away from him. Then he took the dirty blankets off of him, throwing them on the floor for him to take care of later, took off his hoodie and fell to his bed, barely keeping his eyes open. He smiled to himself before falling asleep. Yes, he’ll definitely be calling Frank again. 


	2. Once Is Never Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess what-more porn!!

Gerard opened his eyes slowly, clutching his pillow as if he was trying to hold on to that sweet slumber or a lazy simple dream. With one hand he tucked the blankets around him tighter and rolled to his side in hopes that he would fall back asleep and dream of little nothings again. Though, his bladder had a different idea and the young artist sighed in frustration and rolled out of bed. His vision was still blurred so he rubbed his eyes desperately so he’d at least see where he was going. Though, that didn’t help him much as he still tripped over a bundle of blankets in the middle of the room and managed to catch himself on his hands just before his face smashed into the floor. Gerard cursed loudly and glared at the culprit with clear eyes and wondered for a second what the hell were these blankets doing on the ground? A moment later last night’s adventure came back to him and he couldn’t help but smile at the memory. It was probably the wildest thing someone like Gerard had ever done…if you don’t count the accidental orgy in college.

He picked up the blankets wincing slightly at his bruised legs and took them upstairs, burying them deep inside the hamper in the hopes that his mom wouldn’t notice. After taking the long needed piss and having his morning coffee he settled down in front of his desk and opened up his laptop. His life had gotten so much easier he couldn’t believe his boss actually let him pull this off.

Two years ago by some miracle Gerard got a job he had always dreamed of having. He could finally draw comics for a living. The company he worked for wasn’t anything major or worldwide like DC or Marvel but it was enough for Gerard. He felt lucky, perhaps even blessed, to get a job that he knew he would be happy with since his whole life revolved around drawing and comic books. He got to work with some young yet talented writers and artists who were fighting for their place on this earth just as Gerard was. For one and a half years he had to work in an office, go to meetings and parties where everyone like him would just hang out. Though, pretty soon Gerard felt that it wasn’t for him. Not the job itself but what came with it. So after his first year of working there he began talking to his boss about letting him work from home. At first his boss disagreed heavily, but over time Gerard managed to convince him that while he was working and drawing in the office he didn’t feel as creative and free to draw as he did at home, plus he only did the first sketches by hand, the rest was done with computer programs. In the end his boss agreed but only on the terms that he still worked full hours even from home and that his laptop would be connected to their office.

So Gerard clicked away on his laptop and continued working where he left off Friday night. He was drawing an intergalactic battle between the hero and the villain with an army of space pigs and not thinking about Frank and his voice. Absolutely not.

…

Gerard clicked send and closed his laptop, finally done for the day. He should have worked till 5 pm like every other normal employee but Gerard got so caught up in drawing, he had to finish that one scene, and maybe another one, and edit and add some things to the one he did in the morning. This went on till it was 9 pm and Gerard’s eyes were starting to get tired from staring at the screen. He pushed the laptop away, he wouldn’t be using it for the rest of the day. He started to wonder what to do next and his eyes automatically landed on his phone.

Every single thing in Gerard’s mind suggested that he shouldn’t do it. It costs a lot, he got off just yesterday, so he didn’t feel the need for release as much as yesterday. No. He’ll find something else to do, make himself some coffee, maybe a snack and then he’ll read some comics, even though he had read all of the comics he owned over a hundred times.

Yes, he will go upstairs and make himself some coffee. He said to himself and got up from his seat walking firmly towards his destination. Though instead of the door, his legs carried him back to his bed and his hands just took the phone almost as if against Gerard’s will. But well…now that he was in a comfortable position and he had a phone in his hands, he might as well just call Frank again.

This time though Gerard took off his hoodie along with his shirt and went under his clean blankets because now he was definitely cold, but hopefully that will soon change. He thought as he dialed the number quickly and put the phone to his ear

“Hi, you’ve reached the hottest hotline in New Jersey. To proceed you need to confirm that you’re 18 years old or older.” Frank’s breathy voice drawled in his ear and Gerard instantly smiled. He wanted to say something like ‘hey Frankie, it’s me’ but he realized that it was doubtful he remembered him so he just went with

“Yeah I am.” There was a pause and Gerard waited for Frank to say his next line ‘what’s your name sweetie?’ but instead he heard

“Gerard? Back so early.” he could hear Frank smirk and suddenly Gerard felt very pleased with himself for whatever reason. Maybe because he made an impression last time? And hopefully a good one.

“Believe me I’m surprised as well.” Gerard admitted

“Mmm? How so?” Frank asked like he was genuinely interested

“I planned on making this a one-time thing only. Just a few minutes ago I was going to just lay back and read some comics or whatever but for some reason I picked up the phone instead.” Gerard poured out in one breath. He was surprised at how much he was open and honest with this guy like he was his friend. A friend that was going to get him off.

“Sweet, what comics do you read?” Frank blurted out just like yesterday before he hung up, Gerard could sense some difference in his voice. It was more natural and laid back.

“Well I was planning on rereading the last edition of Hell Boy, maybe some Doom Patrol after that.” Gerard said, not minding the turn in their conversation

“Oh man I love Doom Patrol, the artwork is sick!” Frank said unthinkingly again. His voice was still breathy and relaxed but it wasn’t trying to seduce him anymore. This is how Frank really sounds like when he talks and for some reason Gerard felt strangely satisfied and lucky for getting to hear him talk like that.

“Yeah? Well I actually got to meet up and have a few beers with one of its artists.” Gerard boasted a bit not feeling guilty about it at all because that was a pretty awesome day for him.

“Holy shit, are you serious?” Frank exclaimed excitedly. A short pause followed after that and Gerard could hear Frank cursing under his breath again

“What is it?” Gerard asked letting his curiosity get to him.

“I’m not actually supposed to talk to you about things like that. It’s unprofessional.” Frank chuckled

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell on you.” Gerard couldn’t help but smile

“I’m glad you chose to call me instead.” Frank’s purring voice was back and Gerard was more than fine with that too. “Now I get to have you all to myself” Gerard shivered slightly at the sudden change in the mood

“So why did you _really_ call me Gerard? Did you enjoy yourself last time that much?” Frank was smirking again, provoking Gerard

“I really did. I like hearing your voice Frank, it’s hypnotizing. I didn’t think anyone could get me so turned on by just talking to me.” Gerard admitted freely. He wasn’t feeling anxious or shy like he did last time.

“You’re so sweet Gerard. You got me pretty fucking horny the last time too. I could get all excited again just from thinking about it.” Frank was serious and seductive now so Gerard closed his eyes again and started trailing his hand softly over his chest and stomach

“I really liked the thing that you did, where you trailed your fingers lightly over my skin. I’ve never felt anything like it.”

“Yeah? That’s a thing I always like to do. Sometimes people forget the importance of foreplay.” Frank said innocently “So Gerard, tell me, what are you thinking? Have you been dreaming about me?”

“I have, I couldn’t look away from all the art work on your body and imagine what it would feel like tracing them with my tongue.” Gerard surprised himself at the boldness of the statement.

“Oh fuck… I take back what I said yesterday, you’re pretty good at dirty talk.” Frank laughed lightly and the wonderful sound made Gerard smile. “I wish I could taste you too, gently suck on your collarbones, your neck and nibble your ear and hear you whimper.” Frank said in a sweet voice. This time things were going slower and more passionate compared to yesterday when it was rough and desperate.

“My neck is ticklish so I’d start squirming.” Gerard laughed lightly

“Good. Then I should pin your wrists above your head to prevent you from stopping me, get you to laugh and then catch your laughter with my mouth.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Gerard was getting a warm feeling inside his stomach, a kind of tingling sensation that had nothing to do with arousal.

“I like making out with you Gee, your lips are so soft against mine.” Frank said dreamily, adding appreciative noises. Gerard would have protested against the name he called him, but he was too relaxed to care and later realized he actually liked this nickname.

“And your cool metal lip ring feels so sweet, I’d like to lick along your bottom lip and nibble on it some more.”

“I’ll take the invitation and get my tongue inside your mouth, deepen the kiss, make you slightly moan.” And as if on cue Gerard suddenly did

“Who said I’ll let you invade like that? I’m gonna fight back against it.” Gerard said playfully

“You and I both know you like to be controlled, Gerard. You may fight at first but you know you’re going to give in to me soon enough.” Frank started to raise the tension bit by bit and Gerard could feel himself starting to get excited slowly.

“That’s because I love it when you take control like that Frankie.” Gerard let out a shaky breath.

“You mean when I climb on top of you, pin your wrists and grind my crotch against yours?” Frank asked slightly panting. Gerard moved his hand south, starting to gently rub himself through his pants

“Yeah, you can feel how hard I’m getting.” Gerard squeezed his cock a bit tighter.

“I can but you’re squirming too much. I think I’m gonna have to tie you up Gee.” Frank stated firmly, his voice was already a pitch higher.

“Fuck yes, I’d love that, take me completely. But you have to strip first for me.” Gerard requested  

“You don’t make the rules around here, I do.” Frank growled showing his authority in their little game “My shirt is already on the ground though. But you Gerard, I’ll strip you down slowly, until you’re stark naked lying sprawled out on the bed with your hands tied to the headboard.” Frank was painting quite a picture and Gerard couldn’t help but obey. He quickly unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down along with his underwear. The whole situation changed so suddenly, one moment they were happily making out and the other Gerard was tied to the bed naked, hard and panting. And it was all thanks to Frank’s voice, because the sudden change was so natural and unforced.

“Mmm… I’m at your command Frank. What are you going to do to me next?” Gerard moaned slightly in to the phone

“Turn on your stomach and get your perky little ass in the air and don’t forget to spread your legs for me nicely Gerard.” This time Gerard didn’t actually do what he told him to, since it would have been difficult to hold the phone to his ear, but still he answered

“I’m on my knees, ready to do as you say.”

“I stand behind you only in my tight briefs, grinding my cock against your ass as I bite down on your shoulder and kiss down your back.” Frank was teasing him hard.

“Oh god I want you to fuck me Frankie, please.” Gerard pleaded, committing to his role well. His cock was rock hard by then and demanding his attention but he refused to touch himself, otherwise it would be over too quickly.

“I love hearing you beg Gee. How much do you want me?”

“I want you so much, I want you inside of me, I want you to use me.” Gerard whimpered helplessly, fingering his ass lightly.

“Oh fuck you’re getting me so hard. I’m gonna lick all around your sweet little asshole and then fuck it with my tongue, getting you all ready for me” Frank growled in his ear. This time Gerard couldn’t hold the moans and just let them spill one after another at the thought of that.

“I don’t need to get prepped, just fuck me already” Gerard asked impatiently. He did enjoy the teasing and this little game but the time for playing was over, he needed the release again.

“I’ve been thinking about this ever since yesterday. What it would be like to enter your tight little asshole and hear you scream in pleasure.” Frank purred “I’m lining myself up and oh… _oh fuck_ you feel so good around me, I want to pound right into you.”

“Go ahead. _Please._ ” Gerard was full on fucking himself by now but soon he had to switch and start jacking himself off because he was so turned on it hurt.

“I’m fucking you so hard and fast the whole bed is shaking.” Frank was moaning and panting as well, his sentences getting shorter

“Shit I’m close” Gerard said after a minute of just panting and pumping himself.

“Yeah? I’ll just reach down and stroke you in the same rhythm that I’m fucking you. I pull on your hair as I go all the way in and hold myself there before slamming back into you.” Frank’s voice was uneven like he was losing control himself. Gerard couldn’t speak anymore, only short high gasps were escaping his mouth in pleasure. His head was thrown so wide back his neck was hurting and soon after he felt a tightening in his stomach and came all over himself again, shouting out Frank’s name. He heard Frank shout out a moment later and again Gerard wondered if it was just for show.

Gerard waited for a minute or so until his pulse was somewhat back to normal and his heart wasn’t going to jump out of his chest before saying

“That- that was awesome.” He said with a light giggle

“It sure was.” Frank responded out of breath as well “I’ve never had anyone like you Gee” he said _it’s just a line_ Gerard repeated in his head again though he couldn’t stop the sudden light tingling in his stomach from those words. 


	3. Addiction Is a Powerful Thing

And just like that Gerard began calling Frank nearly every night for the entire week. He didn’t tell anyone obviously. He just asked his mom to not disturb him after 9pm because he had some more work or there was an interesting movie on etc. He would think of something every time. He didn’t even have the guts to tell his little brother with whom he shared pretty much everything. No, this was a bit too embarrassing and too personal to share. Gerard was certain Mikey had no interest whatsoever in what he does in his alone time.

Gerard was sucked into an endless circle. He would call Frank and feel happy and get the release he wants, letting himself be hypnotized and drawn to this man even more. And afterwards he would feel sad and disappointed because Frank was acting after all; he was paid good money to make Gerard feel good. Gerard would need some cheering up and Frank knew how to cheer him up best. Somewhere at the back of his mind Gerard realized that this was even more pathetic and desperate than calling Frank for the first time.

Though, on the other hand his work has much improved since he was more happy and relaxed from getting off every night so it wasn’t all that bad.

Gerard started getting more and more information about Frank. Each time he called him there were bits of little small talk in the beginning of their conversation and sometimes in the middle of it. Gerard would find out something about Frank, like where did he get a certain tattoo or why did he get it. Gerard found out that when Frank was in high school he actually was in a band and that his birthday was on Halloween and he said that he had a giant tattoo of jack-o-lantern on his back that Gerard desperately wanted to see. Gerard was a bit surprised at how Frank answered him nearly everything. At first he doubted that he might be lying but his voice sounded so natural and honest that Gerard couldn’t help but believe the image Frank was painting about his life. Frank would ask him something in return too, though Gerard figured it was just out of politeness or to keep the conversation going for as long as possible. Though there were some things that suggested otherwise.

For instance, by the end of the week Frank had offered him to become a client of theirs. Basically Gerard would have to pay a sum of money per month, fill out a form online and he would get to call Frank all month for free. This wasn’t much benefit for them. Gerard did the math and he counted that if he would call Frank every day of the month and talk with him for about 20 minutes like he usually does he would spend twice as much than the sum he had to pay per month. But he thought it was just a pretty good deal so he took it. That way he didn’t feel guilty for talking with Frank for a long time since the money was already paid. They also entered Gerard’s number in their system so when he called he would get automatically redirected to Frank and he could skip the introductions and rehearsed lines.

Another incident happened two days after Gerard became a regular client. Frank was making him excited slowly, teasing him and then this happened:

“I can’t get enough of you kissing me like that Gee. I’m cupping your face with my one hand and holding you close to me by your waist with the other.” Frank breathed sweetly

“I have my arms around your neck and slightly sliding my tongue inside your mouth.” Gerard couldn’t help but smile from the image he was creating himself

“You know just what to do to make me go crazy for you Gerard. I pull you in even more so we’re impossibly close as I tangle my hand in your short bleached hair and push my mouth against yours even more.” Frank purred smiling as well

“Mmm… that feels so nice Frankie, I could- wait a second, my what?” Gerard’s eyes flew open suddenly. Gerard’s hair wasn’t bleached, well at least not anymore. Where the hell did Frank get that idea?

“Oh… _shit_.” Frank sighed in frustration

“Frank?” Gerard asked

“Okay this is so embarrassing. I shouldn’t have done it, I shouldn’t have let it slip. Fuck it’s a wonder why they haven’t fired me yet.” Frank was muttering to himself

“Shouldn’t have done what?” Gerard asked curiously and a bit suspiciously

“Don’t be mad at me okay? When uh… when you filled out the form I could see your full name, and I know you’re an artist so you should be known at least in NJ so I… I sort of googled you.” Frank was so uncomfortable it was actually quite cute

“What did you do that for?” Gerard couldn’t help but chuckle

“I guess I wanted to know more about you even though it’s against our policy here. Also I was interested if I could find out what you look like so I’d have something to work with when I talk to you and there was a small photo of you where you had your hair bleached.” Frank was talking in a muffled tone. Perhaps his colleagues could hear him.

“Well why didn’t you just ask me what I look like?” Gerard asked. His mouth was stretched in a wide smile even though this man just admitted to have stalked him via internet.

“Because you could have easily lied. A lot of weird people call us and they claim to be ripped guys with a six-pack and a huge cock when in reality they’re not. And I… I’m not even sure why I did it actually, but I was very pleased with the result. I expected you to be some over-weight, bald dude with a preadolescence moustache who’s so far back in the closet he could find Narnia. But you, you’re one hot comic nerd Gerard.” Frank admitted and Gerard couldn’t help the little giggle that escaped his mouth. From there they continued to live in their imaginary world where they were together.

Gerard didn’t tell him that he no longer had bleached hair and that he grew it out and dyed it black. It warmed his heart to no end to hear Frank admit this. And ever since then they grew a bit closer, well as close as you can get with a phone prostitute. They would start their conversations with ‘how are you?’ and ‘how was your day?’, and Gerard didn’t know if Frank felt the same, but every day Gerard was growing more and more interested in what Frank had to say about his day and those little bits of information he could catch about him.

…

It was a Wednesday, a regular Wednesday it seemed. Work was alright, they were almost done with a new issue of their comic. His mom went out for the night so that spared him the time to explain to her why she shouldn’t come to his room after 9pm. Though, when Gerard called Frank that night he found that something was not right. Frank said his usual ‘hey Gee’ but it was a bit muffled and not breathy at all. For a moment Gerard wondered if he was talking to a different person, maybe he dialed the number wrong but no, only Frank called him ‘Gee’.

“Is everything alright?” was Gerard’s first question.

“Yeah I’m just a fucking idiot ‘cause I went out yesterday with just a shirt and a jacket on when it was raining. I got a bit of a cold but don’t worry, it shouldn’t ruin our time.” Frank said trying to sound seductive again but failing miserably since his nose was stuffed completely. Gerard wasn’t pissed or disappointed because of that, he was concerned for Frank.

“Then why did you go into work today? Frank you’re clearly sick, you should be in bed drinking tea while tucked inside your sheets like a burrito.” Gerard said sitting up in his bed.

“It’s fine, I have to keep my regular clients entertained.” He said with a smirk but Gerard rolled his eyes

“Frank I know I’m your only regular client. Just go home and tell them I didn’t call or something. I’ll check-in in a few days to see how you’re doing.” Gerard said ready to hang up. As much as he enjoyed having Frank’s company, he wasn’t that selfish.

“Wait! I can’t do that. They already know I’m here and that you called so there’s nothing I can do. And if you hang up so soon my supervisor is going to report that I gave a poor performance.” Frank sighed

“Shit…Can’t you make yourself some tea anyway? We can just talk for a shorter time than usual so you can go home and get better.” Gerard said feeling guilty that Frank had to endure this all because of him

“Look, don’t worry about that. I’m here to make _you_ feel good Gee.” Frank wasn’t giving up. Gerard sighed before saying

“Alright then, but can we do something differently this time?” Gerard asked

“Like what?” Frank said after a cough

“I want to be in control this time. I want you to be at my mercy Frankie.” Gerard said seductively.

“You want to see what it’s like to be in my shoes, huh Gee? Well I’m all at your command.” Frank tried to breathe huskily and it wasn’t working for him at all.

“You gonna do as I say Frankie? I’ve wanted to try this for some time now.” Gerard was the one purring in his ear now

“Yes, I’m all yours.” Frank said before sneezing

“I want you to stand up for me Frankie and put on a little show for me.” Gerard smirked

“What would you like to see?” Frank tried to moan

“I want you to pout for me like a model and be all sexy.”

“Would you like me to swing my hips too?” Frank smiled

“Hell yeah I want you to walk in front of me while swaying those hips of yours.”

“Mmm… What else?”

“Then I want you to walk to the nearest coffee machine and get yourself some fucking tea.” Gerard dropped his seductive voice and stated seriously

“Oh c’mon, Gerard!” Frank protested

“You promised to do as I say, so get your butt up and get yourself something warm to drink.” Gerard ordered

 “You’re making me break the rules man.” Frank cautioned him

“You already broke plenty of rules yourself while talking to me, so what’s one more rule right?” Gerard reminded him smiling.

“Ugh, you’re the most persistent client I’ve ever had.” Frank complained, but Gerard could hear him get up from his seat.

“And you’re the most stubborn hooker I’ve talked to. You’re going to thank me later.” Gerard said all knowingly

“Hey I’m not a hooker!” Frank said suddenly offended

“Okay so what do you call yourself then?”

“I’m a…” Frank stopped for a minute to gather his thoughts “I’m going to get myself some tea and I have to put down my phone for a second. I’ll be right back.” Frank finished quickly and Gerard could hear the phone being put on a hard surface.

Gerard smiled before setting the phone down himself and putting on his shirt and getting under his sheets. After another minute or so he heard Frank pick up again

“Alright so I had to maneuver my way around without being seen to get that tea. I could easily be a ninja now.” Frank said proud of himself

“Sure you would.” Gerard laughed in response “Where do you work from anyway? I just can’t imagine a place where a bunch of people could gather up and do this for a living.” Gerard asked curiously

“Each of us has these tiny offices. When I talked to you for the first time, I wasn’t kidding when I said that I’m all alone inside a stuffy room.” Gerard smiled from the memory “Our supervisors can see when we are talking and how long we are talking on the phone, and they check up on us every hour or so.” Frank explained

“Well at least it’s warm in there.”

“How about you? How was your day Gee?” Frank asked fondly

“It was alright. We were finishing a new issue of the comic. It should come out in the next few weeks or so.” Gerard said. He felt like he was being boring for most of the time. He almost never had anything new or interesting to say about his day while Frank always had lots.

“Sweet! Well you know I’m going to be first in line to get it. I actually bought the last issues this morning and read them.” Frank confessed and Gerard swallowed loudly waiting for his opinion of it “These comics are so… underrated. The plot is interesting and the artwork… I don’t know much about art but it looked really good. It’s probably my second favorite after Doom Patrol.” Frank said as an afterthought.

Gerard sighed in relief and felt himself blush

“Thanks Frankie. I’m glad you like them.” Gerard paused biting his lip before saying “Hey can I ask you something?”

“Sure! We’ve got nothing else to do anyway.” Frank chuckled and his voice seemed slightly brighter now.

“Your voice. I’ve never heard anything like it. And I don’t mean just that it sounds pleasant, but it’s the way you control it. Did you ever learn how to do that or are you just a natural?” Gerard waited for an answer anxiously. Frank laughed lightly

“You know, according to everything I should answer saying ‘of course I’m a natural sweetie. I was born to please you.’ “ Frank said trying to imitate his seductive voice and Gerard couldn’t help but laugh at how cheesy that sounded.”Honestly? When I was in high school I had a reputation of doing very accurate impersonations of other people. That was the only thing I had to hold on to when I was about to graduate. Well apart from music, but all the bands I’ve been in never lasted so I gradually lost hope. I thought that I could take up acting, but later I realized that the reason I was good at impersonation was not because of my acting abilities, it was because of my voice. So I began studying voice acting, but somewhere along the road it led me here.” Frank finished his story on a sad note

“I’m so sorry Frankie.” Gerard said feeling even more guilty for talking to Frank

“It’s alright. From time to time my clients aren’t so bad. Some of them turn out be really awesome.” Frank sounded honest, though Gerard refused to believe it was anything more than just a line.

A short pause of silence settled in between them and Gerard could hear only the sounds of Frank sipping his tea.

“You know Gerard, if the circumstances of our meeting were different, I think we would make really good friends or perhaps even something more.” Frank admitted after awhile

“But you _are_ my friend Frank. However strange our circumstances are, I like you for who you are, not for what you do for a living.” Gerard said a bit embarrassed

“Good. Because I like you too Gee.” Frank smiled slightly


	4. So Long and Goodnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys don't mind a bit of angst/fluff

It had been three whole weeks since Gerard became a regular client, since he and Frank became friends. Gerard was losing touch with the people in his life more and more, though, he couldn’t bring himself to regret that. He was happy living in an imaginary world with Frank. Day dreaming about this man’s life and listening to his troubles sometimes and realizing he lived not so far from him.

In the beginning Frank would still bring up that what they are doing is dangerous, that a true relationship between the two of them was prohibited by Frank’s work policy. It would start out as serious warnings that he might get into real trouble, but as time went on he didn’t bring it up as often and even if he did it was just a playful notice or a joke. Sometimes they would spend more time talking to each other about their lives and their day than they did while trying to get one another off.

Gerard was a bit too embarrassed to ask Frank if he actually enjoys himself while they do it or if he acts because it was his job after all.

It had come to the point where if Gerard doesn’t call Frank one day because he fell asleep after working, Frank was the one who called him the next day to ask if everything was alright. Though there were some exceptions…

…

“No… _no!_ You’re lying!” Gerard yelled more to himself than to the person on the other line. He was pacing across his room, his other hand was tangled in his hair pulling it almost painfully.

“Gerard, I know it’s hard to understand, but it’s the truth.” The person on the other line was failing to hold his tears. Gerard could hear that it took all of their strength to say that without breaking out into a sob.

“But it can’t be… no.” Gerard’s lips were quivering and the first tears broke out. Two salty beads of water rolled down his pale face and he wrapped a hand around his stomach in a desperate attempt to hold himself together.

“This is as hard for me as it is for you, but we have to stay strong Gerard. She would have wanted that.” Mikey’s voice was so little and fragile, failing to bring the firmness and determination to his words.

“Don’t talk about her like that! She’s not… she can’t be.” Gerard couldn’t remember when he ended up lying curled up in his bed. Mikey didn’t understand. He couldn’t talk about Elena like that, like she was just gone. Gerard still felt her presence so she can’t be dead. No, not now. He talked to her just a few days ago and she was fine. And she still was fine. Mikey was just pulling a prank on him. It couldn’t have been real. He owed his entire life to her, he wouldn’t be who he was if it wasn’t for her. Gerard hadn’t even said to her how much she means to him, he hadn’t said everything that he wanted so she couldn’t be dead. How could she have just gone so suddenly?

“I’m sorry I’m not there right now. I could use some comfort from you big bro.” Mikey sniffed sadly “But I’ll be back for the funeral. Take care.” Mikey said and hung up on him. The phone was dropped on the ground and Gerard was back to pacing across his room. It couldn’t be real. No. Why her? Of all the people why did it have to be her?

Gerard had so much of this pent up energy and emotions that he just let out a raw yell that was half like a sob and hammered his right fist into the wall with everything he had. Immediate pain seared through it and he could feel blood trickling down his bruised knuckles making everything burn. Nonetheless, it helped. The physical pain made him think less about the emotional pain or the gaping hole in his chest that seemed to have been spreading. Gerard collapsed on his knees resting his head on the slightly dented wall sobbing quietly like a child.

It was only after a few hours that his mother got home and went to his room to check up on her eldest son. She found him kneeling in the same position, but he wasn’t sobbing or moving anymore.

“Gerard…” she said with pity in her teary eyes and came up to pat him gently on the back. As soon as Gerard felt the touch of his mother he moved and embraced her wordlessly.

“I just heard the news, I’m so sorry. I know how much she meant to you.” Donna was petting his hair the way a loving mother would. Gerard just started crying again, clutching his mother’s dress tighter in his hands.

They stayed like that for some time until Gerard calmed down and stopped moving again. Then his mother stood him up and led him to the kitchen for some soothing herbal tea and an icepack for his swollen hand. Though, he didn’t want any tea, he didn’t want anything. All of his energy had drained out of him and he felt like a washed up rag doll thrown out in the street for other people to step on.

He didn’t utter a word for the entire evening no matter how much his mother pleaded him to talk about it and let his feelings out. Gerard simply sat there in his room staring at his laptop feeling completely and utterly empty. He quickly typed in a message to his boss explaining why he won’t be working for a few days. He got the response in a few minutes. His boss expressed his condolences and said that he could have the week off if he needed to. Gerard took the offer because he couldn’t as much as move right now, he couldn’t even imagine drawing or coming up with new ideas especially with his injured hand.

Gerard fell asleep early that night from being worn out from the sobbing and everything that happened today.

…

He stood in front of his mirror eyeing himself one last time before heading out the door. He was wearing his special suit, the one he only wore maybe twice a year when something big happened like his friend’s Ray’s wedding or going to an opening of an art gallery or going to a job interview. It was meant to be his lucky suit, the one to be worn on happy occasions yet now he was going with it to a funeral.

Mikey had arrived just a few hours ago and upon meeting they spent a good ten minutes just holding each other in a tight hug before separating getting ready to leave.

The car ride was silent and the view outside the window seemed to fit everyone’s mood: cold, cloudy, windy with rain just about to break through.

Gerard didn’t remember much of the funeral. He guessed he was trying to forget it. It was a short ceremony since his grandmother asked to be cremated and her ashes to be scattered across her backyard. No one knew why she chose that spot. In a way Gerard was glad that she chose to go this way, at least now he wouldn’t have to stare at the giant urn containing his grandmother’s ashes resting on the mantelpiece in his living room.

Gerard felt a bit better that day. Perhaps, because the truth finally started to sink in and his entire family and a few more distant relatives were there too to share his pain. Well everyone except his father. He didn’t come to say goodbye to his fucking mother. If anything Gerard was even more pissed at him right now than he was when he walked out on them.

All of them had a big family dinner which actually made him smile on more than one occasion, though it was a bit forced. He got to his room feeling tired and spent and turned on his laptop staring at the screen with a blank look on his face again, scrolling through the news of the day. Suddenly he jumped a little at the loud ring tone of his phone. Gerard had no doubt who was calling but he had no wish to get off or talk to someone who Gerard wasn’t even sure was honest with him. He picked up nonetheless

“Hey! Fell asleep again yesterday?” Frank’s cheerful voice ringed in his ear which made Gerard a bit annoyed actually.

“No Frank. Sorry but I don’t really feel like talking to you today.” he said with a sad sigh

“What? Why not?” Frank was plain confused

“I’m just going through some tough days right now.” Gerard put it simply

“What’s wrong? You know you can trust me.” Frank reassured him

“No Frank I can’t.” Gerard put his face in his other, now bandaged, hand. He was getting a headache from all of this

“Wh-what do you mean? I thought we were friends.” Frank was clearly hurt by his words

“I guess we are, but Frank you have to understand I’m never one hundred percent sure you’re being honest with me. You’re paid for this and I don’t think I can trust such a person.” Gerard poured out his doubts that have piled up since the day they started talking. He waited for a response but could hear only Frank’s harsh breathing on the other end of the line and then a few seconds later he hung up. Gerard tore the phone away from him. He guessed that was the end of Frank and him. He sighed feeling suddenly even emptier, put his phone aside along with his laptop and got himself ready for bed.

While he was washing up he heard his phone ringing again though. Gerard stepped out of the bathroom cautiously and walked over to the table where his phone was vibrating. Was Frank calling him back? But Gerard’s face fell in disappointment when he saw an unrecognized number. It was probably one of his relatives calling to check up on him. He picked up the phone and answered in a tired greeting

“Hello?”

“There. I’m calling you from my personal phone. Now, will you believe me when I say that I do care about you and that I’m worried?” Frank rambled on out of breath. Gerard’s voice got stuck in his throat, just like the first time he had heard Frank’s voice. The feeling was similar if not the same. Because this was the first time Frank properly talked to him, without any restrictions or rules from his workplace that had always put a barrier between the two of them. They were talking to one another like one person to another, like friend to friend.

“I... Yes, I guess.” Gerard had no choice but to say. He was still speechless and he had to sit down on his bed from the shock.

“What’s going on Gerard?” Frank asked truly worried and Gerard’s eyes started to tear up again

“I lost my grandmother yesterday.” He admitted and felt yet another tear roll down his cheek. Frank was silent on the other line for a few moments

“I’m so sorry Gerard.” He said sincerely “Were you two close?”

“We were.” Gerard said nodding to himself and then he just let everything that was on his mind for the past few days spill “I looked up to her so much since I was a kid. It was because of her that I started to draw in the first place. She encouraged me and helped me through the tough years of high school when no one else could. I owe her my life.” Gerard was sobbing again, sitting on his bed, knees bent up to his chest.

“I’m sorry I can’t be there to hold you.” Frank sighed sadly, sniffing a bit “I know it’s painful and hard right now Gerard, we’ve all been there. You’re not the only one who lost someone precious to you, but you have to keep strong and not dwell on the past.” Frank advised him

“Who did you lose?” Gerard asked curiously, not caring if he was invading his personal life. Frank paused taking a deep breath, Gerard was prepared to take his question back now because maybe it was a bit too personal but Frank spoke first

“My dad.” He stated simply “I was only sixteen when it happened. He was a musician and his father was too. He inspired me to play music and I did, and I can’t lie to myself, those years when I was involved in bands were the best years of my life. After he passed away I couldn’t dare to touch my guitar at least for a few years, but it got easier with time. I know it hurts as hell right now, like there’s a big hole in your chest which can’t seem to go away, like a part of your soul had died with your grandma. But it will get better. It’s a cheesy saying but time _does_ heal wounds.” Frank said comfortingly. Gerard had calmed down and he wasn’t crying anymore, the thought that he wasn’t alone in this made it slightly better. He was surprised at how accurately Frank understood what Gerard was feeling. Then finally the realization that Frank went through the same pain hit him. And he was only sixteen. Fucking sixteen years old when he lost his role model. Gerard couldn’t imagine what was going through his head at that time.

“Thank you for the nice words and I’m so sorry about your dad.” Gerard said apologetically

“It’s alright.” Frank smiled sadly “I found my own ways on how to deal with it.”

“What kind of ways?” Gerard asked curiously, sitting a bit straighter

“I couldn’t bear sitting at home where my mom was crying non-stop and everything reminded me of him so I would go out and deal with it in a nice quiet place. At first I used to go to the park but soon it got pretty cold and I realized I needed to keep my mind busy so I found a nice bookshop with a coffee place right in the middle of it. It was perfect for me. I would get an interesting book, some warm coffee and spend hours in there. I still go there sometimes when I feel sad or when I need to calm down.” Frank confessed and then felt like adding “I think it’s different for ever person but for me, I needed a quiet, nice happy place to gather my thoughts and mourn in silence.”

“That sounds pretty sweet.” Gerard had to admit “I honestly don’t know how to deal with it just yet, but I’ll give it a try.” He said nodding to himself, feeling a bit more confident.

“Is there anything I can do to help you?” Frank asked and Gerard realized that more than anything he wanted to be hypnotized by Frank’s voice, to listen to his lazy and calm story-telling and temporarily get away from this mess

“Talk to me.” he asked simply “Tell me about your day.” Frank chuckled lightly on the other end of the line and began to talk about today’s and yesterday’s adventures: how some creep started to stalk the sugar voiced lady after she gave him the time of his life, how he got to talk with a guy who wanted to role play as the little red riding hood and Frank had to be the wolf. He said that was the creepiest thing he had ever done and Gerard couldn’t help but smile.

Frank told him to enter his personal number and to call or text him whenever he wanted to. They agreed that he’ll call him back on the hotline at least after a week to gather his thoughts, and that they don’t need to go back to getting one another off if he didn’t want to.

Gerard was still sad, he still felt that gaping hole in his chest, but it wasn’t burning at the edges anymore, he felt a little less empty. Gerard wasn’t aware of it that moment but the hole in his chest was slowly being filled in with Frank.


	5. The Penalty of Friendship

Gerard found his own ways to mourn. He didn’t need a coffee shop or a park, surprisingly all he needed was a pencil and his sketch pad. It was surprising because after his grandmother died he didn’t think he could pick up a pencil ever again. Though, when his right hand finally healed he found it almost itching with the need to draw. That was mostly all he did during the day for the entire week. He found the process itself so calming and relaxing. He didn’t need to think or analyze, his hand did all the work while his mind went numb watching objects and various details appear on the piece of paper. After a day like that he felt instantly calmer and he could get a good night’s sleep at least. Not always of course did he escape the nightmares, but he learned to deal with those too by visualizing them on his sketchpad.

Gerard spent his days drawing and talking with Frank. Not through the hotline though. Since the funeral Gerard called him only twice and on his personal phone. The rest were just text messages. Gerard didn’t know how Frank did it, but he always seemed to send a witty message or something to cheer him up when he most needed it.

Like just a few days ago when he woke up from a nap nearly screaming because of a terrible dream he had. He was shaking and clutching his head, repeating furiously that it was just a dream. And not five minutes later he got a text from Frank: ‘Sometimes I forget that I can’t walk through walls. Thankfully this ridiculously clean glass door was there to remind me and the dozen people around me.’ and Gerard would just smile against his will and feel even just slightly, but still better.

Sometimes they would get even flirty. During that time, Gerard couldn’t hold back his smile no matter what. He knew Frank pretty well by now, and he was also familiar with the fact that he was always like this, joking around, always inserting something perverted in their conversations and pointing out puns. So Gerard never gave it much thought and importance to their little comments and suggestions.

‘So how was your day?’ Gerard would start

‘They keep redirecting chicks to me! Firstly I’m surprised there are any girls that like to get off to such things. And secondly, I keep telling them I don’t do girls! Why do they keep going to me???’

‘Well you do have photo of you up on the website. Honestly, who can blame them?’

…

‘I still haven’t figured out what to get for mother’s day. I’m the worst son ever’

‘Uh Gee… Mother’s day was last Sunday.’

‘WHAT? Shit well fuck me…’

‘Sure…If you think that that’s going to help you remember holidays better.’

If those little fun games sometimes fail to make Gerard feel like a high school girl with a crush, then the messages where Frank is serious and comforting always do. There were times where even drawing couldn’t help Gerard and all he wanted to do was curl up and cry for hours on. Sometimes he would confide in Frank that he felt worthless and he didn’t think he could go on with his grandma gone. At those times Frank reminded him all the reasons why he wasn’t worthless and that he cares about him a whole lot. Those were the few times that they spoke on the phone. Perhaps Frank knew of the effect his voice had on Gerard and that was why he chose to call only at those moments? Either way, Gerard would calm down and enjoy the light tingling in his stomach from hearing Frank talk like that.

As the weeks went on and Gerard went back to work, his life seemed to slowly get back to how it was. Except that a huge part of his life was now filled with Frank and he was becoming more aware of it every day.

When he would go out (and that was very rare) he would try to look at every passenger he saw, every customer in the comic book store. Looking for those tattooed hands and that shaggy black hair. Just in case. Though he didn’t quite know what he would do if one day he did see Frank. They mentioned the meeting idea from time to time when thy talked, but it was usually in a form of a joke and they never settled for it officially.

Though pretty soon flirting through texts and short conversations weren’t enough for Gerard. He couldn’t deny that over the past month he had gotten just slightly addicted to talking with Frank and relying on him to bring the pleasure he needed. He had gotten used to getting off every day on the hotline and one night found himself craving it once again. It was only a tiny addiction. He was fine, he thought as he fisted himself through his pants and threw his head back holding back a whimper. God he needed it, he wanted it so bad. He could easily get off by himself. Frank had put so many wonderful new images and ways of pleasing himself over the last month he could get hard just from thinking about it. Actually he already did. He really could just go for a quick handjob but what was the fun in that? He smiled to himself as he dialed the number for the first time in two weeks.

Gerard was already sitting on his bed comfortably, with plenty of blankets over him while his other hand continued to gently rub his crotch. It felt a bit wrong though. He and Frank had been talking as friends and they _were_ friends so asking Frank to get him off was a bit weird. But then again, Gerard couldn’t deny that what he felt for Frank went beyond the lines of friendship, he just wasn’t sure if Frank felt the same. Nonetheless, it was still Frank’s job so it’s not like he could refuse, right?

Besides, Gerard was looking for an excuse to call Frank (not that his raging boner was anything but sincere). They haven’t talked for a few days, which was a bit weird. The last time they talked was on Tuesday when Frank was nervous since his boss asked him to come to his office after work and he said that when that happened, it rarely meant any good news. Gerard texted him a few times after that asking how it went but he got no response.

After three long beeps he heard the familiar click on the other end and for once he started to talk first. Sure, he wanted to know how it went with his boss and why he didn’t answer him but there were more pressing matters at hand. Literally.

“Frankie… I need you.” Gerard stammered out, barely holding back a moan

“Gerard-“ Frank stated firmly. He already had the dominant voice, Frank was into this as well. Gerard thought to himself and smiled.

“I’ve missed talking to you like that.” He said, interrupting Frank

“Gerard I-“ Frank tried again but Gerard wasn’t listening

“I miss you taking control over me-“

“Gerard!” Frank yelled a bit impatiently. Finally Gerard stopped and listened. This wasn’t the voice of a man who wanted to get him off. Frank was serious and angry. Gerard’s arousal disappeared just like that and he sat up, intently listening to what Frank had to say

“I can’t talk to you anymore.” He said after a pause. He sounded angry and desperate. Gerard repeated what he just heard over in his head a few times before saying

“What? Why? What’s going on?” Gerard had started to panic a bit. Frank was shifting in his seat and cursing under his breath again.

“Remember when I said that a close relationship between someone like me and a client was prohibited? Well I let myself go too far with it. My boss informed me that I have to break all contact with you or I lose my job.” Frank was sounded just as distressed as Gerard felt. His heart sank to his stomach

“But we can still talk through you personal phone, right?” Gerard tried to cling on the only hope he saw at that moment. No, he wouldn’t lose Frank as well.

“No Gerard we can’t.” Frank said through his teeth after a deep breath “I can’t explain exactly why, it’s complicated.”

“Yeah okay” Gerard said quickly. He was torn between the different sides of him. The one that was angry with Frank because he chose his job over him, the one that felt rejected and then the other one that wanted to cry again. Frank seemed to have heard that in his voice as well

“Gerard I-. You know I wouldn’t have agreed if I had any other choice.” Frank pleaded trying to make Gerard understand “This job is all I have and I can barely pay rent as it is- okay but you probably don’t want to hear me explain myself. Just remember that all I’ve said to you was true, I never lied, not even the first few times we talked.” He said with a dark chuckle, sniffing a bit “Gee you know I lo- it doesn’t matter now, does it?” He said talking more to himself “If I ever get out of this evil corporation, you’re gonna be the first person to know about it, I promise you that, but until then… your number is going to be blocked and there’s nothing I can do about it.” Frank was holding back tears while Gerard stared into nothing, still not coming to terms that this will be the last time he would hear Frank talk. “I’m so sorry Gerard.” That was the last thing Frank said before he hung up.

Gerard let the phone slide from his hand and heard it drop on the floor. Was this just another nightmare? If it was, it was the most terrifying and heart-breaking so far. He couldn’t remember how long he just sat there staring at a little crack on the wall. He couldn’t move. He physically couldn’t will himself to move. First his grandmother and now Frank? Who was going to be next, Mikey? He thought bitterly. At least he knew he didn’t kill Elena, but what happened with Frank was his entire fault. Gerard was at least a bit glad that Frank didn’t say goodbye. That would’ve killed him completely.

No, he wasn’t going to lose Frank just like that. For once in his life Gerard decided to fight back. He couldn’t save Elena, there was nothing he could do to stop her death, but Frank wasn’t dead. He was alive and well and living in the same city. New found determination arose in Gerard and he could move again. He wasn’t going to let it just drop like that. He wasn’t going to let some over controlling sex hotline company destroy what they had built.

Gerard formed a plan quickly in his head. He knew just where to go.


	6. Ready, Set and Wait for a Miracle

“So wait, let me get this straight.” Mikey said sighing, trying to wrap his head around the things he had just heard “You want to find your boyfriend, who really isn’t your boyfriend that you’ve talked with through the phone for months for reasons I apparently don’t want to know. And now he can’t talk to you anymore because of reasons that are too complicated for you to explain?” he said squinting and looking at his brother with great suspicion while he was rummaging through the closet.

“Yes exactly! Well sort of…” Gerard said not lifting up his head, quickly looking through the contents of every drawer and shelf that he could get his hands on.

“Yeah I still have no idea what you’re talking about.” He said shaking his head. A moment later though, he lifted his eyebrows and sighed defeated “But I think I can help you with what you need.”

“Thanks Mikes, I owe you.” Gerard said emerging from the stuffy closet with a big smile on his face. Finally having found the object he was looking for and turning it around in his hands.

“No problem.” the little brother shrugged. Gerard wasn’t listening to him though. He was looking for any clear signs of damage on the old mobile phone. While doing so he happened to glance down and saw his stained jeans and his hoodie covered in dust. Experimentally he raised his arm and took a whiff of the black hoodie and instantly scrunched up his nose.

“Can you check if it still works? I’ve to go get changed.” Gerard said already handing the phone to Mikey and ran back to his room.

Mikey stood there for a second staring after his brother who ran off with a skip in his step. The corner of his lips curled upward a bit before he slowly went after him, trying to turn on the old phone.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this bro.” he made an observation when entering his room but the tone of his voice was a cross between admiration and suspicion

“I’m just excited that’s all.” Gerard answered from the bathroom, trying to sound casual and innocent. Mikey scoffed and shook his head

“Nah, this isn’t just normal excitement. You’re practically ecstatic and nervous too.” Mikey explained in his usual laid back manner

“That’s because this will require for me to be around people.” Gerard quickly made an excuse, but only part of that was true.

He came out of the bathroom in clean underwear and walked quickly to his closet to find a decent shirt. Just before opening it he happened to notice the face Mikey was giving him, his usual ‘I’m on to you so stop kidding yourself’ face. Gerard rolled his eyes and scrunched up his nose in defense

“Oh shut up.” he said annoyed to which the younger brother just smirked.

It was only tiny little things like that which suggested they were brothers. Even though they grew up together and liked and obsessed over the same things their personalities were completely different.

Mikey was always more calm and laid back. He didn’t even cry that much as a baby thankfully for Gerard. He just always went with the flow and lived his life not really questioning the way it is or if he could change it. However, he wasn’t ignorant or thoughtless; he was actually quite smart and easy to talk with. That’s why Mikey always had more friends than Gerard, simply because he was sociable, never started up fights or unnecessary gossip or let his emotions get to him and was basically cool with everything.

Gerard was the complete opposite. He always had to question why the things are the way they are. He was always extremely passionate about the things he loved. But only few people got to see that part of him, because he had always kept to himself. His thoughts and emotions were only to be revealed to those who seemed worthy of his trust. Otherwise he was very shy and self-conscious around other people unless he had alcohol in him.

Gerard was fit to be a philosopher or a writer or in this case an artist, while Mikey could easily work his way into any type of company or field he wanted; he was just that flexible.

“Do you even know what the guy looks like? He might not be all that he says he is you know.” Mikey said trying to sound wise

“Yes and I’m perfectly confident that’s how he looks like. He has a bunch of tattoos and his lip and nose are pierced.” He said trying to hide his smile behind the shirt he was putting on.

“Sweet. He’ll be easy to spot.” Mikey said stepping back, letting his brother pace across his room collecting everything he needed. He glanced down at the phone in his hand and saw the dirty yellow light lighting up the screen asking to insert a SIM card.

“The phone works. Why do you even need it?” he asked twirling the phone in his hand just like Gerard did earlier.

 “It’s just a precaution.” Gerard answered clicking away on his laptop “In one of the many possible variations of how this could work out, I’m going to need a different phone in one of them.” Gerard closed his laptop, took a pair of sunglasses and a clean hoodie “Okay I’m ready to go.”

Mikey opened his mouth and closed it, trying to contain the mocking jokes of the whole situation. Instead he said

“Alright let’s get going then.” He concluded before turning and going up the stairs.

…

“It’s nearly 4pm, I have to go home.” Mikey whined tagging along Gerard who looked beat. The both of them stopped in their tracks in the middle of the city park. It was greener than ever, the trees were blocking the sound from the streets and only the sounds of tree leaves gently moving from the wind could be heard. When Gerard would close his eyes he could imagine he was near the sea.

“I don’t understand. I was so sure we’d be able to find it.” Gerard said to himself disappointed. Mikey sighed and went up to his older brother putting a hand on his shoulder

“Look, it’s a sex hotline company after all. Of course it’s not going to be easy to find. So let’s just call it a day and we’ll try again tomorrow.” Mikey said comfortingly, adjusting his glasses.

“You can go home if you need to. I want to stay in the city for a bit more.”

“You sure?” Mikey asked.

“Yeah, thanks for your help though.” He said patting his brother on the back.

“Alright, but don’t stay out for too long, it looks like it’s going to rain soon.” Mikey said looking up at the darkening sky.

“I won’t, don’t worry.” He reassured him. Mikey turned around on the spot and headed in the opposite direction towards the main street taking out his iPod.

Gerard continued walking along the park slowly, barely lifting his feet off the ground. There was no one around at this time of the day so he let himself close his eyes and listen to the sounds around him. The path he was going along was a straight one so he didn’t have to worry about bumping into something. The noises of trees and the dry leaves beneath his feet triggered his imagination, sending visual associations to his brain. The dry leaves sounded like chips being eaten out of a bag, the trees were waves crashing into one another, the fresh air with the coolness of upcoming rain was the ocean in front of him. One detail after another and a picture was being glued together.

The first drop of rain which landed on his nose made him snap out of his day dreaming and he opened his eyes staring at the street ahead of him. Gerard quickened his pace realizing it’s time to head home. Though, the first drop of rain was soon followed by another and then another five of them. It took about twenty seconds for the light drizzle to turn into water literally pouring from the sky. Gerard quickly pulled on his hood and ran to the nearest building he saw which would provide him protection from getting a cold.

He pushed the glass door open and stumbled inside. He wasn’t completely soaked, but enough to make him feel uncomfortable in his clothes. Only when he was safe and warm inside did he take a look to where he had crashed into. It was a medium sized coffee shop, Gerard thought at first. But then he noticed that the walls weren’t covered in the usual pictures and photographs. Instead there were book shelves all around the starbucks coffee bar. Gerard smiled and sighed in relief. What were the odds of him running into a place like this on accident?

The failed attempts to find Frank’s workplace which have brought a sour mood upon him instantly faded as he took the first steps in the bookshop.

There were four small tables for three in front of the coffee bar and two additional ones for two on either side of it. They weren’t that visible when entering the bookshop and one of them was right next to the fantasy book aisle, so, naturally, that was the perfect spot for Gerard. He had some spare money too left over from when he had to buy a new SIM card, which he now doubted he’d have any use for anymore.

So Gerard bought himself a large cup of black coffee which should warm him up in no time, took The Hobbit from the shelf and began reading it for the third time in his life. He got sucked into the fantasy world straight away. The light background music around him faded, his surroundings slowly disappeared as his thoughts transported him into the Shire. He _did_ sometimes hear the slight sounds of the real world leaking through: a new customer walking in, their order if their voice was loud enough, the footsteps of people going into the fantasy section. He registered every single one of those, but his main focus was on the book in front of him.

One of those tiny registered things finally made him tear away his eyes from the book. He heard another customer walking in. their steps were sharp and quick so it was a woman in high heels. That wasn’t important to Gerard though, what was important was when he heard her order ‘a large cup of black coffee please’. It took a few seconds for Gerard to realize that he had bought the same thing, yet the nearly full cup was standing on his table forgotten. Gerard raised his eyes from the book and looked at the lady in the blue coat with her hair tied in a bun and mentally thanked her for reminding him. The cup was thankfully still warm so he drank it thirstily, looking around the bookshop while he had the opportunity.

His first glance landed on the windows. It was still raining outside, but not as fiercely as before. The sky wasn’t as dark, so it should be safe for him to leave in half an hour, he presumed. Then, as Gerard began looking around the bookshop he again realized what an awesome spot this was. He could see pretty much everything that was going on in the bookshop (with the small exception of the few bookshelf aisles behind him) and yet he wasn’t that noticeable to everyone else. Three of the four tables in front of the bar were occupied mostly by people of school age. Then there were a few middle aged people, two moms with their little kids and a couple of old people roaming the bookshelves.

The cup in his hands was already half empty, but Gerard decided to keep it in his hand while reading so he wouldn’t forget it. Just before his eyes drifted to the book, he took one last look at the main bar and the entrance. A new customer walked in, Gerard glanced at him quickly and his eyes went back to the book he was reading.

His brain reacted only a few seconds later and Gerard froze in his spot. His pulse quickened immediately and his heart was thumping excitedly. He didn’t dare raise his head though. He kept it down, though it was obvious to anyone who looked at him that he wasn’t reading. It took only one second of a glance and Gerard was a mess, he had forgotten how to breathe and what to do with his hands.

Nervously, after convincing himself he raised his head cautiously again. This time he found him standing by the bar, waiting for the cashier to take his order. He was completely soaked, tiny drops of rain water kept dripping down from his black hair. His shirt and jeans were also completely soaked. He was probably walking in the rain. He turned his head slightly to the side almost to Gerard’s direction and he saw the last proof: two small rings pierced through his lip and nose that shined from the warm golden lighting. _Frank_

It all seemed like a dream. Once Gerard had his eyes on him, he thought it’d be impossible to tear them away from him. His eyes kept roaming his entire body not settling on the one spot he wanted to look at more closely. Finally he settled on the visible tattoos on his arms, but he couldn’t get a good look at them since Frank was visibly shaking from the cold. It was the middle of autumn and he was out with just a T-shirt. No wonder he got sick a lot.

Finally the cashier appeared and Gerard watched as he took his order of a medium cup decaf. Gerard couldn’t find the words to explain how overwhelmed he was. Sure, he knew how Frank looked like and was familiar with the fact that he had a nice body but this wasn’t it. For the last few months Frank’s image existed in his mind as a photograph, because that was all he had. He had imagined on some occasions how would Frank look like talking on the phone or doing casual every day things. But in the end, a small photograph was all he had and even with his imagination he couldn’t fully visualize it. Now, he saw every single move of his muscles, his chest rising and falling with every breath, his tiny face expressions and the way his lips moved when he talked. _Frank._ Before this moment, that word was only a title to the person he was talking to. Now he was seeing that title _become_ him with every movement he made proving that he was alive and very real.

The young cashier took pity on him and gave him a towel so that he could dry himself a bit in the bathroom. Frank smiled and said a quiet thank you that Gerard couldn’t hear and turned right towards the bathroom, which was near where Gerard was sitting. Gerard had a tiny moment of panic as he saw Frank walking in his direction and hid his face behind the book. He honestly didn’t know why he did it. It was a spontaneous decision, but he didn’t regret it. After all, what was he going to say to him?

A few moments later he came out of the bathroom. This time Gerard didn’t hide his face behind The Hobbit, because he put on his hood to hide him. Gerard followed him with his eyes and saw him take his order, take a book from a shelf and sit at the last table in front of the bar.

How could’ve Gerard forgotten? Frank said he liked to go to a bookshop and drink coffee from time to time… or when he was upset. Gerard looked over his facial features once again and Frank’s face seemed empty. Not a trace of excitement or happiness. Gerard’s heart swelled with worry as to what got Frank so upset.

Though, all in all, Gerard felt pleased. He would have to call off the search tomorrow with Mikey because he did it. After hours of worrying and searching the city, it was all down to a surprising coincidence. Gerard smiled to himself and sipped the remaining of his cold coffee.

He found him.     


	7. Observations, Coffee and The Lord of the Rings

_It’s day four_ , Gerard wrote down in his mind as he sat at his usual table by the fantasy aisle and opened up his laptop. _It’s 11am and Frank is nowhere to be seen, yet._ Gerard once again looked over the top of his screen to quickly scan the bookshop. He then took his first cup of coffee and started working on the next issue of the comic, glancing up every time he heard the little bell over the main door ring to see who entered.

This was just a temporary plan, Gerard thought, until he figured out how to approach Frank and start the conversation, whether to reveal who he really is or go under a fake name. He was still in the deciding process and frankly he wasn’t making much progress yet. Every time Gerard would imagine going up to Frank his stomach twisted and protested greatly. No, he’ll wait and in the mean time just observe… Observe was probably the softest word for stalking.

In the mean time, he kept his mind busy and drew. Of course, his boss and the others didn’t know he wasn’t working from home anymore, if they did, they’d send him back to the office immediately. Thankfully the cashiers or the other bookshop workers didn’t say a thing to him about being in this place from 11am till 5pm as long as he kept buying the coffee.

For the past three days Frank had shown up, bought coffee and read a book for an hour or two while Gerard sat only two tables apart from him. He watched him still in amazement that this man is real and not just a figment of his imagination or an advertising trick. Every single one of those days his blood boiled whenever Frank went to the bathroom and, for just a second, was only a few feet away from him. Gerard would hold his breath and look away to the other direction to not give himself away while his insides shook with the excitement.

Though, he realized that he was relying on chance. What was he going to do the day when Frank doesn’t show up? Where will he begin looking for him again when he stops coming in here? That’s why every single day he told himself over and over that he needed to approach him and talk to him. But at the same time he didn’t have the stomach for it. Mikey could tease him and call him a chicken all he wanted to, that wasn’t going to spark up the sudden braveness and confidence in him. He didn’t dare to text or call him either in case he got into trouble again.

It was 3pm when Frank entered the bookshop. Once Gerard’s eyes landed on him he put on his hood and his reading glasses that he didn’t really need since high school. Frank gave a casual once over glance over the entire place, before proceeding to the coffee bar. Gerard carefully looked at him from the top of his glasses as Frank tapped some beat on the counter with his fingers lightly while waiting for his order.

Frank looked much better than he did on the first day that Gerard saw him. He was almost a complete mess then, now there was more color in his cheeks and more liveliness in his eyes, which was enough to make Gerard smile, even just slightly.

Every time Gerard thought about their early conversations he would grow red and focus on whatever he was doing. Because, Frank looked so peaceful and calm while reading his book that you’d expect him to be this great listener with great advice and insight of the world, perhaps deeper knowledge of music and fantasy books and comics. Gerard knew he was all of those things, but whenever he thought about what he did for a living… the image was suddenly too embarrassing and explicit to fit him. He had no trouble fitting those two parts of his life together while he was locked up in his room and talking through the phone, but this was different. Gerard’s entire perception of Frank had changed since he saw him.

…

Gerard was constantly torn between staring at him all the time and keeping it cool and just checking on him. It usually ended up as Gerard casually glancing up at him and then finding it hard to look away even if he was sitting and turning the pages of the book he was holding. However, unfortunately for him, the human mind has the tendency to sense when someone is staring at you for a long time and alerts you. So, there were times when their eyes met even if it was for just a second. It happened twice and both on the second day and both times Gerard averted his eyes embarrassed.

Now it was the same deal. Gerard glanced up at him and saw him already in his seat reading a book. Too bad he was a little too far away for him to make out what book he was reading. With great difficulty he tore his eyes away when he felt that staring for ten seconds was enough for now. Gerard closed his laptop for his one deserved break and once again took The Hobbit in his hands and started reading from where he left off. But this time, he listened more carefully to the sounds around him.

After finishing two chapters he allowed himself one more look at Frank. Though, instead of him looking at Frank, he firstly noticed the dirty looks the workers had started giving him. Gerard sighed, digging in his pocket for some change. It had been a few hours since his last cup of coffee. Those damn greedy cashiers weren’t gonna let him stalk in peace, were they?

While Gerard was walking to the bar and simultaneously closer to Frank, he dared himself to go a bit further. When he was right next to the bar, waiting in line, he carefully turned to the side as if he was interested in the cookbook aisle and landed his eyes on Frank who was sitting right next to it. What Gerard didn’t expect though, was to find Frank already staring back at him.

He froze in place and felt his face grow pink for being caught in the act. Gerard wasn’t breathing either, just staring right into Frank’s face so close to him for the first time. He could literally take one step and sit himself in front of him and start a conversation. But Gerard’s mouth went dry and his pulse was beating too loudly in his head. It all lasted for a few moments really, but by the end of that moment Frank gave him a tiny smile, a small curl upwards from the left corner of his lips before Gerard heard

“Can I help you, sir?” the young cashier asked.

Gerard snapped out of it and turned to the bar swiftly as if nothing happened and he wasn’t having a wonderful and terrifying moment at the same time.

“Uh yes, I’d like a large-“

“Black coffee, am I right?” he interrupted smiling and squinting his eyes trying to remember. Gerard let out a surprised huff and smiled as well

“Yes, that would be great.” Gerard said nodding and waited as the young blonde worker hurried to get his order. That was another true sign of a stalker, when the workers start remembering you and your orders.

Gerard fought the urge to look back at Frank again as he waited, tapping his foot against the floor anxiously. What was taking so long? He thought impatiently as he felt the back of his head burning from Frank’s stare, or maybe he was just imagining it. Either way, he’d like to be back in his seat _now_.

After an excruciating thirty seconds he finally got his coffee and practically bolted right back to his seat. Gerard took a couple of deep breaths calming his heartbeat and looked at Frank again. Unfortunately, he was already getting up and putting on his jacket ready to leave. Gerard followed him to the door with his eyes. The image of Frank smiling at him stayed in his mind for the entire day.

…

It was day six and Gerard was uneasy in his seat. It had nothing to do with the three cups of coffee he had in the last two hours, or his work or the crying baby at the store. Frank had sat exactly one table closer to him today. It wasn’t intentional of him, that was the only table left but it meant that Gerard couldn’t look at him when he pleased. He was sitting way too close to him and frankly it was a bit distracting.

However, as the day progressed he had found ways to ‘innocently’ glance at him. For example, when he reached for his cup of coffee, he’d casually bring his gaze a few inches up for a second so it would land on Frank’s face. It was actually a bit thrilling for Gerard.

But there was another thing that kept him and the rest of the shop distracted. Remember the crying baby? It hasn’t shut up for ten minutes now and everyone had started throwing glares at the mother who didn’t seem to pay much attention to the kid. After a particularly loud cry even Gerard couldn’t keep it cool and rose up his head to the direction of the mother. He noted from the corner of his eye that Frank had done the same and his eyes landed on him naturally. Frank had turned his head as well and their gazes met again.

Gerard had temporarily forgotten his secret identity thing due to the baby’s cries and rolled his eyes while smiling slightly. Frank flashed him a smile as well and nodded as if saying ‘I know right?’ Gerard’s stomach was tingling familiarly again and his gaze fell down to his thighs.

…

It was day seven now and it was a Saturday so no excuse bringing his laptop to the shop. Gerard wondered if Frank would show up on the weekend, but then again, he did so last Saturday. So, Gerard settled for The Hobbit again. There wasn’t much left of the book but it was enough to get him through the day.

It was around 2pm when Gerard rose from his seat for to buy his third cup of coffee. He stood in line, though his mind was still circling around the book, the fantasy world captivated him so much he was having trouble going back to the real world. He heard some people enter and exit the bookshop but he didn’t bother to look, it was a bit too early for Frank to come to the shop anyway.

One of the coffee machines was malfunctioning and the line was held up. Great, so what will he have to buy now to not be thrown out of the bookshop? Gerard sighed a bit frustrated, the long wait waking him up from his fantasy world into the extremely boring real world where he had little patience. Gerard could feel the line growing larger behind him as the few workers stood around the machine scratching their heads, flipping the manual and pressing any button they could find. The person’s behind him phone rang and Gerard jumped a bit at the sudden loud noise, growing a bit more frustrated. The man quickly answered

“Hey, what’s up?” it was a deep and hushed voice, with the usual Jersey accent and a particularly breathy tone… Gerard swallowed uncomfortably, suddenly becoming very aware and self-conscious of his surroundings. Frank was right behind him. He could even feel the breaths he took hitting his neck. Now more than ever he wished for the damn machine to get fixed. And thankfully, a minute later the line moved, Gerard got his coffee and, not once looking behind him, he went back to his seat heaving a sigh of relief and smiling slightly.

Gerard glanced carefully and saw that unfortunately Frank had taken the same table as yesterday. He sighed a bit sadly and took The Hobbit back into his hands. He saw that Frank had some book as well and from the top of the book he noticed Frank looking at him. Gerard was getting a bit nervous, maybe he should have thought of a better disguise? Perhaps Frank is finally figuring out who he is? But Frank, when he caught Gerard’s eyes, simply pointed to his books title with a smile. Gerard squinted a bit and saw that Frank was reading The Two Towers and smiled at him as well. Though, his insides were still shaking in fear that Frank knew who he was. So, he dropped his gaze back to his book feeling a little too self-conscious again.

…

It was day nine and Gerard brought his laptop again. It was still a few hours till Frank was supposed to come so Gerard busied himself with the work in front of him.

Gerard had given up completely trying to figure out how to approach Frank. He honestly didn’t even know why he was doing this anymore. It became like a _thing_ that he does now. At least his mother was glad that he got out of the house more.

Gerard felt his mouth going dry and realized he hadn’t had a cup of coffee in a few hours now. As much as he didn’t want to leave his work just now, the workers were going to start giving him dirty looks again. Gerard closed down the program and started fishing in his pocket for some loose change when someone put a large cup of steaming coffee on his table. Gerard burrowed his eyebrows in confusion and lifted his head. Frank was looking down at him and smiling, holding his own cup of coffee. Gerard stared at him speechless while Frank pushed the cup towards him. Gerard looked at the cup confused again and switched his gaze between the drink and Frank as if asking ‘is this for me?’ Frank nodded slightly still looking right at him. Gerard felt his face grow a bit hot so he dropped his gaze. Once he wasn’t looking at him anymore it was easier to speak

“Thanks.” He said quietly. Frank sat on the chair opposite of Gerard still smiling amused.

“You’ve been watching me for the past week, the least I can do is get you some coffee.” 


	8. I am so Embarrassed for Gerard I Couldn't Think of a Title

Frank’s POV

Frank did well when he asked the blonde cashier boy about his new admirer. He thought as he entered the bookshop on a Saturday morning. Frank had started to notice him about a week ago. At first he didn’t give it much thought, just a regular client, that’s all. Even though, he did have that suspicious look about him. And honestly, for those few days he didn’t give much thought about anything else. His mind was preoccupied with other things such as being robbed and being unemployed. But fuck it, Frank thought, he was gonna get through it, he always does, one way or another.

This new finding certainly brightened up his mood. At first he tried to ignore the stalker, but it was just so fun to make him feel uncomfortable and he was quite cute Frank had to admit. Something about him struck him as familiar, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

This guy was probably the worst stalker in the world. He probably thought he was being subtle while he was obviously staring at him through the top of his glasses. Frank started to wonder if he really even needed those glasses anyway. Frank would go to the bathroom more times than necessary just to see him flush slightly and turn away from him. It was hard for him to keep a straight face and not giggle.

Any other day or week Frank would’ve been crept out by this. He was a bit at first actually. But since his life was already going downhill, he generally stopped giving a fuck. The guy looked harmless anyway. I mean he jumped every time there was a particularly loud noise from the coffee bar.

At first Frank thought he was just slightly making fun of him and his admiration by teasing him, but at some point it changed. Frank didn’t know how or when but it just did. It started to get even more fun when the guy would actually properly look at him and roll his eyes or smile. Frank even took the liberty to see what book he was reading and picked The Two Towers on purpose to get the guys attention.

Even the said blonde cashier noticed what was going on between them. One time when Frank came up to the bar to buy a cup of coffee and a cupcake the cashier silently motioned to his stalker and to him. Frank wanted to roll his eyes, say a mocking joke perhaps but instead he smiled and said a quiet “yeah I know.” That was also the time when he felt just a bit sad when he, out of habit, took out his phone to tell Gerard about the new creep and his adventures and realized that he didn’t have his number on the new phone.

Finally, after more than a week of playing around Frank was getting tired of their game. He also couldn’t shake the feeling that he knew him, it was just something at the back of his mind, but he probably just had one of those faces. So, Frank asked the cashier, who, Frank overheard, remembered his stalker and asked him when he usually came here.

Now he sat at the other side table away from the bar and even further away from his admirer. Frank had thought about what he was going to say before choosing his moment, pretty fucking perfectly too, and made his move.

Frank bought another coffee for the guy just as he saw that the stalker was looking for money to go and buy some himself. Then he swiftly walked over to his table and placed the cup on his table. For a few seconds the other stared at the cup confused and Frank had to bite down a laugh. But holy fucking shit, why did he look so familiar? When he raised his head, his stalkers jaw literally dropped, almost like in a cartoon. He looked between the coffee and Frank and Frank nodded pushing the cup of coffee towards him.

“Thanks.” He muttered under his breath. Really? That was all he had to say? Was he really that shocked or something? Frank thought, but it wasn’t out of bitterness. He wasn’t going to get rid of him just like that, so Frank sat down at the opposite end of the little round table and said with a confident smirk on his face:

“You’ve been watching me for the past week, the least I can do is get you some coffee.”

 

Gerard’s POV

 

Gerard continued to stare at him dumbfounded. And no, it had nothing to do with Frank’s looks or their past .Gerard was just shocked into silence. What exactly one should do when caught in the act of stalking another person?

He opened his mouth, not even sure why, but Frank was staring at him as if expecting him to speak. Gerard found himself mumbling incoherent things like the time when he called the hotline for the first time. Frank chuckled a bit at his lame stammering and decided to speak first

“You don’t have to look so scared. I’m not gonna report you or get a restraining order.” he explained calming him down. It was so strange to hear Frank’s voice so clearly. It sounded even more relaxed and breathy even though he spoke in a quick manner. “I’m Frank.” He said extending his brightly colored hand.

Gerard took hold of it right away and he had but a few seconds to make the decision he had been avoiding to make for the past ten days.

“I’m G- Mikey.” He quickly corrected himself. Frank’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Is Mikey such a weird and rare name? Gerard though. He figured Frank didn’t know who he was if he started off by introducing himself.

“The name suits you.” he concluded. Gerard frowned slightly. Mikey was going to give him hell for this.

You know you see these kind of scenes in movies and it’s so cute and romantic. One of them starts to stalk the another and then later on they get to talk for real and there would be this instant connection and they know what to talk about and say just the right thing. Somehow, when Gerard imagined this, he thought it would go something like that. The conversation would flow instantly and freely. But once again he was reminded that no, this wasn’t a movie, and in real life it’s much more awkward and uncomfortable.

The both of them sat there in silence, Gerard was still brightly pink in the face while Frank was leaning back in his chair with the same small smile on his face. It looked like Frank wasn’t going to say anything more until Gerard spoke up. Something in the back of Gerard’s head clicked and he started to defend himself

“I- I wasn’t stalking you. Really.” He said. When Gerard imagined going up to him and talking to him…In none of the probable situations of how they meet was he such a dork.

Frank continued to stare at him with the same small smile

“Sure.” He said sarcastically “Like I said, I’m not mad or anything. And it was pretty obvious, I mean you’ve been reading The Hobbit for more than a week and you still haven’t finished it? What’s up with that? I mean I devoured that book in a matter of days.” he said with a smile, sipping his coffee.

“If you kept such a close eye on my reading, shouldn’t I be the one accusing you of stalking?” Gerard said suddenly remembering how Frank admitted to have stalked him via internet. He gave himself a mental high-five for giving a witty and proper response for once. Frank laughed

“I guess you should, but at least I admit it.” He said leaning forward a bit. Gerard flushed again not knowing what to say except

“Alright, I guess I was… a little bit.” He said keeping his head down

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Frank said a bit mockingly. He then turned away a bit and sneezed all of a sudden

“Are you sick?” Gerard inquired worriedly.

“Just a bit, it’s nothing.” He shrugged it off. _Typical,_ Gerard thought mentally rolling his eyes.

“You should get some rest or something.” Gerard said carefully sipping the coffee Frank had given him. It was the usual coffee he took. Did Frank know this too or was this just a happy coincidence? Frank sighed dramatically

“I _just_ met you and you’re already ditching me?”

Gerard couldn’t help but giggle. It wasn’t even a joke or anything and the giggle was more of a nervous and hysterical one actually

“No, I just don’t want you to get even more sick.” He explained.

Frank was just sort of smiling now, with a little twinkle in his eyes. He wasn’t saying anything anymore and Gerard sighed looking down at the table. The silence was settling between them again and it was so uncomfortable Gerard visibly shifted in his seat.

“Well then you should at least drink your coffee and keep warm.” Gerard spoke after some time when the silence between them had started to become suffocating

“Alright, mother.” Frank said dramatically rolling his eyes though taking a sip from his cup nonetheless. “So Mikey…” Frank said after putting the cup back down on the table. Gerard’s head jerked up unnaturally at the sound of the name “how old are you?” Frank asked simply

“I’m…22” Gerard said after a pause. He wasn’t sure why he lied actually but now he felt guilty for doing it. Frank nodded thoughtfully

“You look older though.” he noted and Gerard flushed a bit

“Yeah I get that a lot.” He tried to say casually “what about you?” he asked though he felt the conversation going nowhere

“I’m the same age actually, though most people assume I still go to school.” Frank said with a small laugh “I don’t know how many times old people have literally snarled at me and said ‘kids these days’ while I was going to work.” Gerard couldn’t help but let out a chuckle

“Where do you work then?” he asked. Gerard was wondering whether to ask him that or not, but he wanted to know if Frank was going to be honest with him or not.

Frank looked down, the smile on his face slowly fading

“I used to work in this major hotline office thing. It was a terrible job really so I quit. So I guess I’m unemployed now.” Frank explained with a hopeful smile.

Gerard was shocked to hear this. The reason they sort of broke up was because he wanted to keep his job, the only source of money he had and now he decided to throw it away just like that. And furthermore, he didn’t tell him. Frank promised to let him know if they can talk to each other again but his phone was silent.

“But that’s a good thing right? I mean now you can find a job that you like.” Gerard said trying to see the positive side of it.

“Yeah it’s definitely a good thing. I should’ve left that place a long time ago, too bad I realized it and took action a bit too late.” Frank said staring off a bit, like he was drawn back to his own thoughts. Gerard wondered if he was in any of those thoughts of his. “Anyway, what do you do Mikey?” he asked more cheerfully raising his head again. This time Gerard couldn’t bring himself to lie

“I draw. Mostly comics, nothing fancy.” He said simply.

“Oh that’s awesome! I love comic books, for what sort of comic do you draw?” Frank asked leaning forward a bit

“It’s very unpopular and there’s only a few issues so I doubt you’d know it.” Gerard explained. He wasn’t technically lying. There was a comic they did a year back but it got ‘canceled’ after a few issues.

“I’d still like to see the things you draw.” Frank said in a way, which lead Gerard to understand that he wasn’t going to just forget about this. “Will I find you here tomorrow?” he suddenly asked. Gerard’s heart started to beat excitedly

“Yeah I guess.” Gerard answered unsurely. Frank got up from his seat and slid on his leather jacket

“Cool. So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow” he said cheerfully, then suddenly a thought popped into his head “But just in case I don’t…” he trailed off taking a napkin and scribbling down a number “It’s my new number.” He said with a warm smile, turned on his heels and just walked out without any explanation or anything.

Gerard was left sitting there thinking ‘did that just really happen?’ somehow he didn’t have enough time to process it all. It all seemed like a wonderful dream, Frank being in his imagination while he created the perfect scenarios for them to meet and Frank being exactly the person Gerard wasn’t, exactly the person Gerard needed him to be. Gerard smiled to himself holding his cup of coffee. If this was a dream, he wished he didn’t need to ever wake up.


	9. A Strange Affair in Even Stranger Circumstances

Gerard walked back home earlier that day. He couldn’t properly remember getting up and leaving the bookshop because he kept spacing out. His head couldn’t stop inventing new scenarios or replaying what happened that day in his head. He kept the napkin in his pocket neatly folded like a relic until he came back home and was alone once more.

Frank wasn’t lying, this was a different number. Gerard wondered why he had to change it so suddenly. Either way he entered the number and felt his chest fill up with the familiar warmth. Gerard felt that this hopefully was the beginning of something new.

In the mean time he called up Mikey and shared the news. Gerard honestly expected to get shout at or something, yet all he heard was a long and sad sigh from his brother

“Please tell me you’re going to tell him the truth _eventually_.” Mikey asked in his tired voice

“Of course I am. I just need the right time and place.” Gerard said confidently

“Gerard, that’s what you said when you wanted to ask out Lindsay to prom.”

“Shut up. This isn’t high school, it’s going to be different.” Gerard stated more to himself than to his brother

“Yeah sure” Mikey dropped sarcastically “Anyway, I hope you didn’t forget about this Friday.” He said hopefully

“I didn’t don’t worry. I wouldn’t miss your band’s performance for the world. Besides I wouldn’t want to miss seeing you screw up on stage in front of about a hundred people.” Gerard said smiling to himself

“Fuck you man. I’ve been practicing all day today.”

“Yeah I can imagine.” Gerard said laughing a bit “But seriously, I’m proud of you Mikes.” He said honestly

“Thanks bro. Anyway I gotta get back to practice.” He said ready to hang up “Don’t screw it up any more with Frank.” He added as an afterthought.

“I don’t think that’s humanly possible.” Gerard sighed sadly “Have fun at practice” he said and heard Mikey hang up on him.

 

…

The next day Gerard woke up around 7am. He had to actually stop and stare at his watch for it to sink in. He knew he was eager to get back to the bookshop, but he didn’t realize he was _this_ eager. For once he felt wide awake and ready to do something. The bookshop opens at 8am so in the mean time Gerard got ready.

He realized this wasn’t exactly a date and Frank was probably crept out by the stalking part, but as of right now he didn’t give a shit. He’ll get to meet Frank again and the excitement and nervousness was turning his insides to goo. Gerard ended up changing his clothes four times and checking himself out in the mirror a few hundred times before taking a deep breath, taking his laptop and set out to confront a chilly autumn’s morning.

The bookshop had just opened when Gerard arrived. So naturally he was the first customer there. He knew there would still be quite a few hours till Frank arrived but nonetheless his heart was thumping inside his chest violently as he approached the coffee bar. The same blonde cashier was working behind it. The name tag read “Bradley” and Gerard mentally slapped himself. In nearly two weeks the cashier had not only remembered his name but knew his usual order by heart and Gerard only bothered to read the name tag today.

Before he could open his mouth Bradley spoke over him

“Large black coffee coming right up.” he said with a strange smirk that left Gerard a bit puzzled.

He took his usual table and for the first time started his work this early. His concentration kept slipping away though. Gerard had to stop and remind himself of what he was doing since his character somehow got an extra arm and he ended up duplicating the same scene twice. But honestly, who could blame him? This was probably the most exciting thing that was happening to him and not to mention it kept his mind off Elena’s death.

Gerard gulped uncomfortably from that memory and started to imagine Frank walking through that front glass door, sitting down next to him and smiling warmly. Then how his lips moved when he spoke, the mysterious little twinkle in his eye, the way his tattoos would change shape ever so slightly when he stretched or flexed his muscles. Gerard felt calmer. He took a deep breath and continued his work like the frightening memory never entered his mind.

Though, pretty soon the excitement and anxiety was replaced by guilt. Why the hell did he have to lie? How was he going to fix this now? It wasn’t like he could just say: ‘Oh hey sorry I got confused the other day, my name’s not really Mikey after all’ or ‘I lied to you about my real name and age, do you wanna go out with me sometime?’ Gerard put his face into his hand from embarrassment. He felt like he was stuck in a lame comedy show with an unpredictable ending.

Gerard looked at his watch. Well it looked like he spent two hours drawing and wasted about an hour on self-loathing, just what he had planned for the day. He thought bitterly to himself as he got up to get another cup of his favorite addiction.

While he was walking back from the bar he stopped momentarily because his table seemed to have been taken. Gerard was about to stomp over and protest that this was his place and for the stranger to get the hell out of there when he noticed that it was Frank who was occupying the seat. Gerard didn’t recognize him at first since he was sitting with his back to him, his hair was flatter than usual and he was wearing a dark blue hoodie instead of his leather jacket. Gerard straightened himself up for some reason and walked to his- _their_ table quickly.

Frank seemed to have been spacing out himself. When Gerard pulled the chair to take his seat he jerked in place as if being caught but smiled warmly afterwards.

“Hey.” Gerard said quietly

“Hi! When did you get here? I mean it’s like 11am, I thought I was gonna get here first and freak you out or something.” Frank poured out leaning back in his chair comfortably

“I got here around the time it opened.” Gerard said after a moment’s pause, he figured he had lied enough to Frank “I wanted to get some work done I guess…” okay that was a part-lie so it doesn’t count, right?

“Oh… but why don’t you work from home if you’ve got the opportunity? It seems as a more comfortable choice for me.” Frank burrowed his eyebrows curiously and sipped his coffee.

Gerard swallowed louder than he should have. This was going to be a tough one but he promised himself not to lie anymore

“I used to work from home but then some things happened and I couldn’t get as concentrated or… or inspired and I found this place sort of on accident” Gerard said. He wasn’t aware he was using his hands all that much until he saw one of them go up and wave around at his last words. Gerard felt a bit embarrassed so he put his hands down keeping an eye on them. “I liked the atmosphere and the coffee was great so I stuck with it.” He finished nodding to himself slightly. Gerard tried to be as abstract about the story as he could. It went pretty well to his mind.

“Can I see some of your work?” Frank asked. His voice had unusual shyness and cautiousness in it compared to his usual bold and dominant manner. Gerard was taken aback by it and found himself speechless for a few moments. Frank seemed to misinterpret his silence though “It’s alright if you don’t want to, I realize it’s personal and you barely know me-” Frank began to explain himself

“No it’s alright.” Gerard spoke over him with a small smile. It was kind of like when he heard Frank being honest and flustered for the first time over the phone, where he proved he was a considerate and curious person. Those things seemed to get overshadowed by his expressiveness, passion and natural charm. That was why Gerard was glad he knew him and got to see or more like hear those little traits he carried. It was the ultimate proof of the fact that first impressions can be wrong and that people can be confusing and difficult to understand but it’s the complexity of their character that makes them interesting.

Gerard’s head was swimming a little. Actually, it felt more like a flood of thoughts and new ideas, which he stored away for later. In the mean time he took his laptop and found the scene he had completed throughout last week and yesterday and turned it towards Frank.

Frank leaned in immediately as his eyes scanned the whole screen swiftly. He didn’t say a word for a few minutes, his eyes kept either fixing on one point for some time or looking over something bigger and slowly dragging his gaze up and down. The one thing that stayed constant though was the little smirk on his face. Gerard shifted in his seat a bit uncomfortably. He was starting to regret showing him his work. What if he didn’t like it? But no, Frank had already viewed his other work on the different comic and he said he liked that one. Either way, it wasn’t exactly pleasant to see someone scrutinize your work so carefully. Actually, it was a bit gut wrenching.

“Whoa.” Frank said finally, after another excruciating minute of silence. “That looks so fucking sick.” He said more to himself, covering his mouth with his hand, his eyes were blown wide in amazement. “I mean… how do you guys even do stuff like that? Even those little shades and wrinkles?” he asked incredulously pointing at something on the screen which Gerard obviously couldn’t see.

“It takes a lot of practice that’s all.” Gerard shrugged while smiling, pleased with himself.

Frank finally tore away his eyes from the screen and looked at Gerard

“Okay I know this may be a long-shot but” Frank started. And one of those little overshadowed traits slipped in again. Embarrassment. “I have this friend, a really good friend for that matter who’s also in this type of business, perhaps you’ve heard of him? His name is Gerard Way?” Frank asked carefully.

Gerard felt his hands getting sweaty as another flood crashed in his mind. But this time it was a flood of emotions. Excitement. Curiosity. Joy. Fear. Guilt. Embarrassment. Stress. Anxiety. All jumbled up together for just a few seconds. The impact of the crash made Gerard unconsciously grip the edge of the table a bit harder. He took a deep breath and

“Yeah, I’ve heard of him.” He said considerably calmly even though his insides were being shaken like a champagne bottle which could burst any moment.

Frank’s face brightened up suddenly

“That’s awesome! Are you two close? ‘cause I lost his contacts and I can’t get in touch with him.” Frank asked excitedly. Gerard fought back a relieved and pleased smile and thought to himself ‘alright, I think I’m gonna do it. Should I do it? No… yes, I’m gonna do it’

“Not especially, but I know where he’s going to be this Friday so you two can meet.” He said with his heart thumping loudly in his ears. 

“Really? Where?”

“Just a few blocks down in this underground club. I think his brother is in a band that’s going to perform there.” Gerard said trying to keep it together

“Nice! Are you going there too?” Frank asked suddenly.

Shit. Gerard did not think this through.

“Uh- I don’t know.” He stammered out, wanting the earth to swallow him whole

“C’mon man it’ll be fun. Just say yes.” Frank pushed him while Gerard fidgeted in his seat. Frank took a deep breath “If you go with me, I promise to forget and never mention the fact that you stalked me for a week.”

“Deal.” Gerard jumped suddenly and shook his hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say sorry for how long it took me to update and to inform you that the next one will probably be up in a week or so since I have a job now and I'm a bit sick as well. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, reviews are always welcome
> 
> P.s. for those who are more curious: I didn't choose the cashiers name randomly. I imagined him as Bradley, as in Bradley James (cause he's such a babe)


	10. A Case of Watercooler Romance

Day two of meeting with Frank was especially stressful. Frank had to leave early, he said he was job hunting at the moment and he had a meeting. Gerard wished him luck while Frank said “see you tomorrow” at which Gerard’s stomach flipped. It looked like this was also going to become a thing that they do now. Gerard was both pleased and anxious about that.

So much and yet so little happened during their short meeting that Gerard was considering casually slipping into a coma or something to avoid ever dealing with it. At the beginning of their conversation Gerard had his shit together and was gonna go through with everything like a man. Now he was reduced to a shaking leave, devouring one cigarette after another.

There were so many loop holes in his plan that he didn’t even know where to start. See, this was exactly why he shouldn’t be allowed to make spontaneous decisions ever again. He thought to himself before stubbing out his fifth cigarette in the ashtray and collapsing on his bed.

He had many problems at hand that needed fixing, difficult situations which required diplomatic and subtle ways of solving. He was behind work a bit, his room looked like a war zone and a shower would do him some good too. Gerard thought over all the things that he needed to do and, naturally, started at the top of his priority list. That was to read the new released comics and forget reality existed until he passed out.

…

The next day Gerard woke up on proper time, which was about 10pm. Though, this time, as much as he wanted to put it off, he had to take a shower since he slept in his clothes.

He got to the bookshop around noon. The first thing he did while entering was scan the whole place for Frank. He wasn’t there yet, so at least Gerard could have some time to work in peace. There was a different cashier behind the bar today, a young brunette, who was overly friendly with every customer. Gerard didn’t really pay attention to her as his mind was already in his own fantasy world, planning out the next few scenes of the comic, trying to remember all the ideas he had yesterday. He gave a small thanks when he got his coffee and began typing and drawing away while he was still in the mood and there were no distracting thoughts.

Gerard didn’t know how much time had passed since he began drawing and he probably wouldn’t have gotten up for another few hours if it weren’t for his stupid bladder. As much as he wanted to finish that scene, his eyes were practically burning with the need to go. So he sighed like a little child and half ran to the bathroom. Good thing it was nearby. While he had the chance he glanced at his watch and his eyebrows shot up. It was nearly 3pm. Gerard wondered why Frank didn’t show up yet or if he was going to show up at all.

He walked straight towards the coffee bar to get a refill and to his surprise spotted Frank sitting at one of the tables in front of it alone. Frank must’ve had a pretty good reason not to sit next to him considering how excited he was yesterday. Gerard didn’t need to think long to come up with a whole list of reasons, beginning with ‘I’m a stalker’. So Gerard decided not to say anything to him, if he wanted to be alone then so be it, he wasn’t going to be one of those people who want to know everything and butt into their personal business.

So Gerard walked past Frank without looking at him and got in line to get his coffee.

“Large black coffee please.” He stated mechanically once he got to the front of the line and handed the money “The name’s Gerard.” He said ready to head back to his seat

“Maybe you’d like a cupcake or something to cheer you up?” she said leaning on the counter, revealing a bit too much with her low cut top

“Huh?” Gerard turned around, his brain processed what she said only a few seconds after

“You look so sad and lonely sitting there all by yourself, maybe a cupcake would put a smile on that cute face? It’s on the house.” She offered in a sickly sweet tone and Gerard inwardly cringed. The voice was terribly familiar to sugar voice lady who greeted him the first time he called the hotline. Remembering the first call to the hotline was like having war flashbacks.

“Uh…it’s okay, thanks.” He said with a small smile while backing up towards his seat. The girl batted her eyes at him once more before retreating with a slightly hurt expression on her face. Great. Now he made the cashier sad too. Gerard sighed turning around only to let out a terrified “Gah!” and jump back

“Boo!” Frank said smiling from ear to ear, his face only a few inches from Gerard’s. Well at least until Gerard jumped back a few feet from being scared to death. Gerard was standing there trying to regain his breath while Frank was laughing hysterically holding his stomach and damn it, it was contagious. A few seconds later Gerard couldn’t keep it in any longer and started to giggle from his own reaction or maybe from Frank’s laugh as well

“You fucker.” He said finally clutching on to the nearest chair for support. Gerard straightened himself up and walked to his seat still giggling, Frank following right behind.

“Man, you’re just too easy.” He said shaking his head, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye.

“Oh screw you.” he replied playfully to which Frank started laughing again. Frank glanced towards the bar and stated

“Oh and your coffee’s ready.” While still giggling from time to time. Gerard was about to stand up but Frank spoke over him “Nah grandpa you sit tight, wouldn’t want to put more stress on your weak little heart.” He said getting up and walking towards the bar while still slightly laughing. Gerard calmed down and stopped hysterically laughing, though there was still a huge smile fixed on his face.

Frank came back, pushed the cup towards him and sat down looking a bit different. He suddenly looked around as if checking if anyone could hear them and leaned forward, a mysterious look on his face, like he was about to share a secret.

Gerard closed his laptop and leaned a bit forward as well having caught the interest

“What?” he asked curiously

“I think someone has a crush on you.” he said in a hushed breathy voice while smirking. Gerard’s face went red in a matter of seconds. Frank had his perfect heavy lidded eyes fixed on him with a mischievous look, waiting for Gerard to say something but he didn’t want to. The stare was like his voice, it was intoxicating. If he answered it meant that it would be over. Their faces were pretty close together too, maybe not close enough for them to kiss, but enough that Gerard could feel the warmth of his body. Gerard could make some cheesy poetic remark in his head about how he felt close to Frank and felt himself falling for this man, but this wasn’t the case. He was just turned on.

Gerard swallowed a bit too loud before deciding that he had been quiet long enough

“Who?” he asked, wishing in the back of his mind that Frank would answer “me” and just fucking kiss him already, but Frank slightly smirked again and leaned back in his chair. Just as Gerard thought he would. He turned his eyes to the new cashier for a swift moment to give Gerard the hint. Gerard’s eyebrows shot up suddenly

“What? Her?” he asked incredulously

“Dude, she couldn’t make it more obvious if she wanted to.” Frank said rolling his eyes while still smiling “I mean look” he said taking Gerard’s cup of coffee “she even drew a tiny heart right by your name.” he said pointing it out to Gerard. He took the cup from Frank’s hand and there really was a sloppy little heart next to his name “and all the flirting she did before that, I was getting a little jealous.” He added playfully.

Gerard was a bit surprised at that. He thought Frank had no interest in women. Either way, he shook his head saying

“Oh, you can have her or whatever if you want, I’m not really interested.” He said in a reassuring voice. Though, he was the one feeling a slight pang of jealousy now.

Frank was the one who was shaking his head now

“That’s not what I meant.” He said calmly and a bit more seriously than before and took his own cup in his hands.

“Oh…” Gerard realized after a few seconds and raised his eyebrows and this time he couldn’t help but smile just a little. But this was Frank being Frank, it was just what he did. No reason to get worked up about it.

“So how’s the comic going along? You were so completely into it when I came in, I didn’t want to disturb you.” Frank said explaining why he sat at a different table. Gerard heaved a sigh of relief. At least it wasn’t the stalking thing or anything on his list for that matter.

“It’s going pretty good I guess. It would have gone better if I had brought my headphones though. I always work better with some music on.” That was an unnecessary thing to say, but it was already out of Gerard’s mouth so what the hell.

“Oh cool so what music are you into?” Frank asked leaning forward “For the record, I actually used to do music.” He added proudly. He hadn’t lost his passion for music, Gerard could see it in his eyes.

For some reason Gerard didn’t expect this question. Perhaps because they had already discussed it over the phone and now he’ll be just repeating himself. Frank knew quite a lot about Gerard, but he knew basically nothing about ‘Mikey’. Gerard wondered how long it would take him to see the pattern.

“Mostly heavier sort of stuff like Misfits or Metallica, though I enjoy an occasional Queen or The Smiths song too.” He said narrowing it down and added a bit uncertainly “What about you? what kind of music did you make?”

“I gotta hand it to you Mikey, you have an awesome taste in music.” He said admirably “I’m actually into similar type of music and I was in a few punk rock bands just fooling around and stuff. It was fun for a while, but in the end it never really worked out for me.” Frank said with a shrug like he didn’t mind, though Gerard knew pretty well that he did.

“Why don’t you give it a try again? Maybe just as a hobby or something, who knows, maybe something will work out.” Gerard said trying to encourage him. Over the phone from time to time Frank would slip in just how lucky Gerard was to do something he loved for a living and that he wished he had that chance. He just couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for Frank.

“Yeah maybe.” He said with a genuine smile while nodding to himself “You’re probably the only person who’s encouraged me to do music again.” He said looking at Gerard fondly “Pretty much everyone else is saying that I should get a real job and all that other bullshit.”

“But what’s the point in doing something that means shit to you?” Gerard asked rhetorically “So what if you’ll make crappy living and barely afford rent. As long as you’re happy doing it isn’t that all that matters?” Gerard started using hand gestures again, getting a bit too heated in the conversation. But honestly, he just wanted Frank to be happy.

“I like the way you think Mikes.” Frank noted while squinting his eyes and smiling mysteriously. Suddenly he glanced at his watch and his eyebrows went up “I have to get going I’m sorry.” he said looking genuinely apologetic, which was yet again a bit unusual for him “I need to take my dog to the vet and stuff, he’s been vomiting all over the place for the last few days.” He said a bit annoyed but soon his face turned worried. He got up to put on his jacket and quickly drank what was left of his coffee

“Shit, I hope he’s gonna be alright.” Gerard said standing up as well “I’ll walk you out, I wanted to go out for a smoke anyway.” He said making quite a shitty excuse but he thought it came out pretty casual. Because of his working, which he could’ve done when he got back home, he got only little time to spend with Frank. Though on the other hand, he’d really go for a smoke too.

“I’d kill for a smoke right now too, but I really want to get all the vet business over as soon as I can.” It was Frank’s way of saying ‘I want to keep you company too, I really do, but I can’t’.

“I understand man don’t worry.” Gerard reassured him while they were walking out. Frank pulled the glass door open and let Gerard through first and then they were standing outside, in a dull autumn’s mist which made them shiver.

Gerard was starting to fear this would get awkward or uncomfortable but Frank had no intention of lingering around.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He said with a playful wink, lightly putting his hand on Gerard’s back and walked off with a quick step not looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Attention: okay, i've read a lot of comments, not only on this site that refer to the fact that Gerard's name was on the cup. It's not a mistake I made, everything here is going as planned. You can make assumptions about this scene all you want, all will be revealed in the 12th chapter


	11. I'll Comfort You My Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter is the big one. enjoy

The next day Gerard woke up in good spirits. He slept perfectly, everything was going great with his comic, his boss was very pleased with Gerard’s work, maybe he’ll get a bonus or something like that, things with Frank were also going as smoothly as they could go in his situation, his false identity was still safe. (At least he thought so…)If he didn’t live in a basement room and had proper sized windows he guessed the sun would be shinning and the birds would be chirping and gliding through the sky as happily and freely as Gerard felt.

He rolled out of bed, stretched pleasantly and looked at his alarm clock to check the time and date. Ever since he started forgetting holidays Gerard started to check the date every day to make sure he was on the right track with the rest of the world. It was surprisingly easy to lose touch with reality for Gerard.

It was 9.34am, Thursday, the 22nd of September. Gerard racked his brain quickly trying to remember if this date was any important. Besides the fact that tomorrow was Mikey’s gig there were no birthdays or major celebrations coming up for him and his family. Though, he couldn’t shake the feeling that this date was important to him somehow and then it hit him. Quite literally.  Gerard’s stomach twisted unpleasantly and his good mood vanished as quickly as the memory of a dreams leaves when waking up. Suddenly Gerard didn’t feel like going out or meeting with Frank, no matter how much he liked him. All he wanted was to go back to sleep and for this day to be over already so that the tiny reminder in his head that today is exactly one month since Elena died would shut up.

However, he knew he couldn’t just abandon his work, especially when it was going so smoothly. He would just have to suck it up and deal with it. Gerard said to himself in a full confident voice inside his head though his body refused to move from the bed and his face was still frozen in the same numb expression.

…

Gerard somehow got to the bookshop nonetheless. He was a bit of a mess, but at least he could concentrate enough to work and that was all that mattered. Gerard didn’t lie when he told Frank that he couldn’t get as inspired while working from home anymore. Something terrible did happen, but he didn’t mean the fact when Frank sort of left him. He got the call about Elena as he was working and now he couldn’t fully get immersed in his work without that memory replaying itself in his head like a broken record.

The same brunette was working behind the bar but today she wasn’t trying to hit on Gerard anymore. Actually, she was kind of cold towards him and her greeting and answers were short and curt. If Gerard wasn’t so involved in his own problems with dead relatives, maybe he would give a shit about that. Instead, he just got his coffee and started working as fast and as concentrated as he could.

This was actually the time when Gerard would be glad if Frank came in, saw him working and didn’t bother him until he was just about to leave just like yesterday. Though, it didn’t look like Gerard’s wish would come true. He spotted Frank out of the corner of his eye entering the bookshop and he was already walking in his direction with that usual smile on his face. Gerard sighed and started to close down the programs one by one. He was at least going to make an effort to have a good time with him.

Frank looked brighter and more cheery than usual, which, again, made Gerard just a bit annoyed.

“Hey man, how’s it going?” Frank greeted him while taking his seat opposite of Gerard.

“It’s good good.” He answered with a half-hearted smile “What about you? How’s your dog?” he added remembering yesterday’s crisis.

“He’s fine, it wasn’t even anything serious. I just had to buy some special medical dog food from the vet and he says he’ll be alright.” He explained looking relieved. “How about your little admirer?” he asked wiggling his eyebrows comically.

“Oh, her?” Gerard asked turning his head towards the cashier “If she did like me before she doesn’t anymore. She stopped trying to get my attention.” He said with a shrug. His eyes were lazily fixed on his cup of coffee, he suddenly felt so tired.

“That’s good. She looked like bad news anyway and like so not right for you.” Frank rolled his eyes to make his point “and that reminds me” Frank suddenly raised his eyebrows a bit and leaned forward like he did when he was excited or interested “have you talked to Gerard yet?”

This seemed to have woken him up a bit. Gerard straightened up in his seat and tried to remember how he planned to answer

“Yeah I did.” He said simply

“And? C’mon _Mikey_ don’t make me beg.” Frank was practically jumping in his seat with curiosity

“He was pretty excited about the whole idea too. I told him you’d be there at the gig and he said he’ll find you there himself.” Gerard explained as casually as he could. Frank was positively beaming

“Awesome. I think it’s high time I met with Gerard already, I can’t wait.” Frank said looking him directly in his eyes with the same mysterious smile playing on his lips, which, even in Gerard’s crappy mood, drove him crazy with curiosity of the reason behind it.

“He thinks the same.” Gerard said not knowing what to add

“So are you going to be there too?” he asked smiling broadly like it was the funniest shit ever.

Gerard thought this over in advance as well

“Yeah I think I can make it. But I’ll arrive a bit late if that’s okay. You can hang out with Gerard till then.” He explained. Though, of course, that wasn’t going to be the case in reality.

“Yeah man it’s totally cool. I’ll be hanging out by the bar. You can tell that to Gerard so he can find me.” he said still looking him directly in his eyes. Gerard averted his eyes not out of shyness or anything, the stare was just getting a bit uncomfortable for his taste.

“No problem.” He shrugged again not really knowing what to add. Suddenly Frank’s face dropped and turned serious

“Okay man what’s going on?” he asked in a quieter tone full of genuine worry

“What?” Gerard played dumb though he saw that Frank was onto him

“Something’s clearly bothering you today, you seem kind of… distant.” Frank squinted his eyes trying to find the right word “Did I say or do something? Cause you know I-” he asked concerned and Gerard finally spoke up

“No no Frank, it’s nothing you did or said don’t worry. It’s another thing that uh…” Gerard started to stutter feeling slightly awkward going about this business

“It’s okay dude, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Frank said holding his hands up showing that he wasn’t going to pry him. 

“It’s alright, I can say, it’s not a secret or anything.” He laughed it off, though it was a bit forced “I… I kinda lost a member of my family a month ago. Well actually, it was _exactly_ one month ago. And we were really close so I guess I just got a bit worked up about it.” Gerard shrugged looking down on the table tapping his fingers mindlessly on the table as a nervous habit. When he saw another, colorful hand cover his own and gently squeeze it reassuringly.

“I’m so sorry… I… I should’ve realized-“Frank started apologizing again and Gerard interrupted him once more

“You didn’t know dude, it’s okay.” Gerard said with a light laugh “really” he added nodding. Frank still had his hand over his. Gerard felt his thumb lightly trailing over his wrist in a soothing manner and gave in to the feeling rather than getting embarrassed and pushing his hand away.

“Hey how about we go outside for a smoke, it’s on me.” Frank offered, going back to his usual excited self. “That is if we can trust those guys to keep an eye on our stuff.” He added motioning with his head towards the workers.

“I’d love one and yeah don’t worry they will.” Gerard said with the most genuine smile today and stood up from his seat, putting on his jacket.

They made their way out of the bookshop and Frank offered him a cigarette just like he promised, he even lit it and everything. The weather outside wasn’t that bad, it was still cloudy and sort of grey like usual but at least it wasn’t too cold for them to stand outside for some time. They spent the first minute of being there in silence. A comfortable one though. Gerard sucked in the poison, feeling it reach his lungs and then suddenly calming him, like he was blowing out his worries and stress instead of the smoke.

“You still look pretty grim.” Frank observed after some time staring at Gerard who was leaning on the grey concrete wall.

“Yeah well… I guess there’s just a lot on my mind.”

“Maybe you want to talk about some of those things?” Frank offered taking a drag himself while hollowing his cheeks like a god damn pornstar.

“I just really fuckin’ miss her.” Gerard said in one breath “Sometimes I still reach for the phone to call her when I draw something great or when I need some sort of advice and every fucking time it hits me that I can’t, that I’d be calling an empty house, that she’s not there and she never will be. I never realized just how much I needed her and how important she was until she was gone.” Gerard had to cut himself short because of the lump that started clogging his throat painfully. Talking about this stuff was one thing, letting Frank see him cry was another and he wasn’t going to let that happen.

Gerard didn’t look at Frank the entire time he was speaking. He was just sort of staring at the ground, spitting out his grief and rage when Frank stepped in again. This time he covered Gerard with his entire body, embracing him in a tight hug since he couldn’t find any words to comfort him.

Gerard returned the embrace instantly clutching onto Frank perhaps even a bit too tight, but he didn’t hear any complains. His head fell to the crook of Frank’s neck immediately as he breathed and tried to will all of those feelings that made him want to cry, away. Frank was dragging his hand up and down Gerard’s back while his other was tightly fixed on his waist.

Gerard wanted to be like that for an entire hour if he could. He had forgotten over time how good it felt to be held by someone like that, to be near another person impossibly close like attempting to melt into each other and become one. The tingling in his stomach which later seemed to spread out throughout his entire body didn’t have anything to do with arousal this time…

“It’s gonna get better, trust me.” Frank’s voice was just above a whisper. His warm breath hit Gerard’s neck just below his ear and all Gerard could do was nuzzle into Frank’s neck crook even more to keep himself from bursting out crying pathetically. He nodded against his jacket and continued to stay in this embrace until Frank chose to let go of him. Luckily for him Frank held on for a good few minutes.

“Just think about tomorrow and how fucking awesome it’s going to be. I mean I’ve never heard of the band but I guess if you like them then they must be good.” Frank said after letting Gerard go but still keeping both hands on his shoulders. “And if they aren’t we’ll just ditch that place and have a lord of the rings marathon or something.” Frank added smiling. Gerard let out a light laugh and sighed a bit shakily but his face looked brighter and had more color in it than before.

“Yeah okay we can do that.” He said nodding and continuing to smile from ear to ear.

“Much better.” Frank said more to himself than to Gerard pointing at his smile. And this time Gerard did get embarrassed and turned his gaze away to look at the ground. Though, he still felt Frank’s gaze fixed on him and when Gerard looked up he was staring at him with a mixture of admiration and wonder. It was probably the most serious Gerard’s ever seen him be. It was quite over whelming for Gerard, so overwhelming that he couldn’t look away even if he was still embarrassed slightly.

“Maybe we should go inside already” Frank suggested finally breaking the gaze and looking towards the glass door. “Before that cashier starts looking through your laptop.” He added as they both turned to go back inside

“I told you man, she doesn’t even like me.” Gerard said in a much livelier voice.

“Of course she does.” Frank said confidently before opening the door and standing back to let Gerard through first “Who wouldn’t?” he added winking at him comically.


	12. Breaking Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So first of all I'd like to thank you all for y'know liking this story and stuff (I mean whoa, a 100 kudos??? that's most i've ever gotten!) second of all yes this is the last chapter and it's thrice as long. I didn't want to split it into two parts cause i didn't want to keep you guys waiting. I hope you enjoy the outcome of this story and the last chapter overall cause i put a lot of effort into this one.
> 
> P.s. i've made some changes. first off i edited every single chapter here, to get rid of all the typos and other nonesenses, y'know, making it more clean and i've added chapter tittles as well. i'm not great when it comes with tittles but at least i tried

‘ _This is the day_ ’ was Gerard’s first thought as he woke up on that Friday morning. ‘ _I can’t fuck this up_ ’ he said to himself. He realized it could either go terribly or develop into something great. So, it’s needless to say Gerard was nervous as hell. But this wasn’t comparable to an exam that you take or a job interview, this was something that could make him the happiest he had ever been. And the thought that it all depended on him, win or lose, was making him nauseous.

He did some half-hearted work for the first part of the day while he kept glancing at his watch every ten minutes to make sure he would leave himself plenty of time to get ready. It was around 3pm when he realized he couldn’t concentrate on drawing anymore, his mind was buzzing too much so he started to search his closet for some decent clothes to wear. But not before he called Mikey

“Hey man, you nervous for the show?” Gerard asked once Mikey picked up

“Nah, not so much.” He answered casually

“You’re a bad liar Mikes.” Gerard shook his head while smiling

“Fine fine. Well of course I’m a little nervous.” The younger brother sighed frustrated

“Just a little? Yeah… right…” Gerard dropped sarcastically knowing very well that Mikey has stage fright

“Oh shut up.” Gerard could swear he heard him roll his eyes “What about you? Will I receive my identity back or will you introduce me to Frank as Gerard now?” he changed the subject quickly.

“I’ll fix it don’t worry. He’s going to come in expecting to meet up with Gerard and he will.” He explained his plan, again feeling his stomach churn at the thought of it.

“Good. And hey man if it won’t work out, that means he was a shitty friend to begin with.”

“Thanks. I mean if it works out then great ‘cause I love him, but if it doesn’t I can’t really blame him either.” Gerard said mindlessly and then stopped and realized what he just said.

It was one thing when the thought of it was in his head for weeks now, twirling at the back of his mind. He had always known it was true and never once questioned it. It seemed like an inevitable thing really. But now that he had said it, in a weird sense it made it more official and clear. He’s in love with Frank.

“Good luck bro. I have to get back to practice now so I’ll see you at the show.” Mikey said hurriedly and Gerard could hear some movement behind him getting louder

“Thanks, good luck to you too!” he said but his little brother had already hung up. Gerard sighed dropping the phone on his bed and returned to his messy wardrobe.

…

Time really flies when you try to put on the perfect amount of eyeliner for half an hour. Gerard doesn’t remember spending so much time on his looks ever. He got to the venue an hour before the show, just like he and Frank agreed to meet. Gerard smoked one last cigarette outside his car, took a few deep breaths and went inside.

Once he was inside he tried to stall a bit and look around the place a bit searching for Frank when he knew well enough that he was by the bar. It was a pathetic way to procrastinate really, but his nerves were getting the best of him. When he had walked around the small club a few times and rehearsed what he planned on saying Gerard finally started walking towards the bar. During those ten wasted minutes more and more people started filling the venue and the place got louder and suddenly Gerard felt as if there was no air left in his lungs, but it was probably because there were a lot of people in a small place, he tried to calm himself.

Frank was already there at the bar as he had suspected, sitting on one of those high stools and dangling his feet like a child. Gerard wanted to hurry to get the free spot next to him but he noticed Frank’s jacket and arm was on that chair, saving it for him.

Gerard couldn’t remember how he got to the bar, how he managed to tap Frank on the shoulder and make him turn around. By that point his head was overflowing with stress and fear so much it felt like his body was on autopilot. All his mind was saying was ‘ _this is it, this is it, this is it_ ’ chanting it over and over again as he watched Frank turn around and his eyes fell on his face. _Win or lose_ Gerard’s mind reminded him before Frank opened his mouth

“Hey man! I was starting to wonder if you were coming at all.” He said with a bright smile like always “Here I saved you a seat.”

The confusion in Gerard’s mind was impossible to describe. Gerard sat on the high stool next to Frank with a deeply confused expression on his face. Frank knew he was supposed to meet Gerard now and meet with ‘Mikey’ later on, but Frank is greeting him like usual, maybe he forgot? What the fuck was going on?

“Thanks, sorry I’m late.” He answered automatically. Maybe it would be best if he went along with it and perhaps see what would happen or maybe wait till Frank realized, he thought. Gerard was fairly certain that the only logical explanation was that Frank forgot or he thought that he would be meeting ‘Gerard’ later.

“So, you psyched for the show?” Frank asked looking like he was twice as excited

“Yeah, I can’t wait to hear them play.” He said more calmly now

“Well just in case, I have a few rotten tomatoes we can throw.” Frank added looking like he was dead serious. Gerard let out a laugh though it was a bit hysterical.

“I really hope they won’t be necessary.” Gerard added lightly while Frank was looking at him more carefully now and Gerard’s heartbeat doubled in a few seconds

“You look good by the way, now I feel underdressed for the occasion.” Frank said with a light laugh.

“Oh, thanks” Gerard heaved a sigh of relief and looked down to see what he was wearing to remember it for next time. It was his least worn out black skinny jeans and a simple button up shirt with rolled up sleeves. “I don’t get the chance to go out that often so yeah…” Gerard started saying and he didn’t have any idea where he was going with it.

Frank suddenly looked down at the bottle he was holding in his hands and asked

“Oh do you want a beer or something?” he asked motioning to his own bottle. Gerard nodded eagerly. He wasn’t one to drink much but maybe it would make him less jittery and relaxed.

Frank leaned over the counter to get the bartender’s attention

“Can I have another beer for my buddy Gerard?” he asked and a few seconds later he was holding the bottle out to him while Gerard had one of the most shocked expressions on his face.

“What? What is it?” Frank asked concerned. Gerard looked like he had just seen a ghost.

“You- you know?!” he scoffed out after a minute. Frank put the down the bottle on the counter and looked at him suspiciously

“Know what?”

“That I’m not actually Mikey.” Gerard said incredulously. His eyes were almost comically wide. After he had said that, music started blaring in the club, it was still a good half an hour before the gig started though. Frank stood from his seat and tugged on Gerard’s sleeve

“C’mon let’s go outside, it’s too loud in here.” He proposed, took both of their beers and led that way towards the exit. Once they were outside and the bass wasn’t shaking their eardrums anymore, Frank turned to Gerard

“Okay what are you talking about man? Of course I know you’re not Mikey, don’t _you_ know that? I’m sorry are you having an identical crisis right now?” he asked him ironically now “You are Gerard, not Mikey.” He said pronouncing each word slowly and clearly like a five-year old and then proceeded to giggle at his own little joke.

“But I mean at the bookshop I told- I lied to you and you kept calling me Mikey.” Gerard said a bit annoyed. Frank sighed and nodded putting the bottles on the ground

“Okay I’ll admit when you first said it I believed you were a different person, but with all the similarities and stuff I realized who you were on the first day.” Frank admitted “I had a hard time figuring out why you lied to me and why you didn’t want me to know who you were, but then one day when I picked up your cup of coffee there it was. Your name was written in plain sight. I figured you wouldn’t have made such a mistake if you were trying to hide who you were so I just assumed you were messing with me, talking to me like I don’t already know you and all that stuff was just for fun so I played along.” Frank explained calmly

“But- but then why did you tell me you were ‘eager to meet Gerard’ and all that stuff?” Gerard asked confused. Frank suddenly gave him a softer look

“Because I wanted to hang out with the actual you. Every day you seemed so stressed and tense and reserved, and you weren’t that way with me before. I know, I remember every second of us talking. I just figured it was just some quirk you put in with the character you were portraying but now I’m starting to suspect that wasn’t the case?” Frank said suspiciously narrowing his eyes.

Gerard swallowed uncomfortably. He could just stick to Frank’s story, say it was a prank after all and go the easy way, but this was no way to treat Frank and he would just have to suck it up for once.

“No it wasn’t. It’s actually very embarrassing.” He began looking at the ground “When you came up to talk to me in the bookshop I don’t know what came over me, maybe I was too much in shock or I was afraid you would be crept out that I stalked you, so I panicked and said my brother’s name instead of mine. It seemed sort of silly and even more stupid to suddenly take it back and say I’ve made a mistake so I just went along with it. You kept calling me by that name so I was certain you didn’t know. And oh god I didn’t even think about putting my name on the cup, I wasn’t thinking.” Gerard was talking more to himself now than to Frank

“Hey, hey, Gerard listen” Frank interrupted him putting a hand on his shoulder “Stop worrying so much. So you did a stupid thing, we all do them man. I’m just glad you were honest with me about it. So just stop over thinking everything, it all turned out okay, didn’t it? We’ll just look back on this later on and have a few laughs.” He said comfortingly. Gerard had never been more relieved in his life. For now he didn’t care if Frank loved him or not, he was just glad he didn’t lose his best friend over his own stupidity.

“So you really don’t mind the whole thing?” Gerard clarified again. Frank smiled friendly and shook his head

“No dude. Like I said, you were easy to figure out anyway.”

“Thanks Frank.” Gerard smiled shyly “I got off on a really bad foot I wish I could just start over.” Gerard said to himself sighing

“Be my guest.” Frank said stepping back. Gerard stood up straighter, put on a friendly face and approached Frank

“Nice to meet you, I’m Gerard.” He said extending his hand, barely containing his smile. Frank put on a fake interest expression and took his hand shaking it firmly

“Hi Gerard, I’m Frank.” He said while looking at Gerard. It took them exactly five seconds to crack up and start laughing at one another “C’mere man.” Frank said through his giggles and embraced Gerard in one of his tight hugs. Their laughter subsided as quickly as it had started once they sank into one another

“I didn’t get the chance to tell you this what with my fake identity and all.” Gerard started “but I’ve missed you Frank.” He said feeling that it was now Frank who was burying his face in the crook of his neck. They’ve only been in each other’s physical company for a week but all of this seemed so familiar to Gerard like they’ve been with each other for a few months at least.

“I’ve missed you too Gee.” Gerard was able to hear him muffle.

…

They let go of each other and set back inside where the show was about to begin any minute. They got as close to the front as possible without starting to shove people away and waited for the band to come out. The place was stuffed by then, the both of them were basically squished against one another. Finally after another ten minutes of waiting four band members showed up on stage and the crowd went wild.

“That’s him right there. That’s Mikey.” Gerard said pointing to the tall skinny bass player who looked like he was scared to look at the crowd. Frank smiled and nodded looking over the band. Once the music began playing the crowd started to move and there was a bit more space for them to actually move around. Gerard had heard their songs before so he already had a few favorites and sang along to them. Frank was a bit hesitant at first, for the first two songs he just watched them play, but once they started playing their fastest and most popular song Frank joined in with Gerard and started dancing, head banging and trashing around as much as he could.

When the band finished playing, Gerard grabbed Frank’s wrist and pulled him out of the messy crowd towards the backstage.

“Whoa man they are fucking awesome.” Frank said with awe once they were out of the crowd

“I told you they would be. And we should still be able to catch them.” Gerard said looking around the place. He was still holding Frank’s wrist. He spotted his brother in the far corner and was about to approach him when he saw he wasn’t alone. Mikey was talking to some girl and it didn’t look like they wanted to be disturbed.

“Yeah… maybe you can meet him some other time.” Gerard said letting go of Frank’s hand and taking a few steps back trying to get the view of his little brother doing _that_ out of his mind.

“Sure thing, he looks like he needs some space now anyway.” Frank winked following Gerard’s lead back to the crowd where regular club music was playing now.

“You wanna head to the bar or stay here?” Gerard asked stopping to look at Frank

“I can get drunk any night, I’d rather see what moves you’ve got.” He said playfully leading him into the crowd

They got through to the middle of the crowd again and started dancing as much as they could while being around so many people. Gerard’s main focus was on Frank, but it seemed like someone else dancing by his left was trying to get his attention. When he looked over he saw no other but the brunette cashier from the bookshop bumping up next to him and throwing smirks his way. Next thing he knew Frank’s mouth was by his ear

“I told you she likes you.” he said loudly so that he’d hear over the music. Gerard turned to Frank as well

“Yeah well I don’t. Maybe we should move to another place, she’s making me uncomfortable.” Gerard said ready to shove his way through the crowd when Frank grabbed his arm stopping him.

“I have an idea to make her piss off for good. Just follow my lead.” Frank said moving his hand securing it around his waist. Gerard didn’t have a chance to say anything back when suddenly he was pulled against Frank’s body completely. Well at least their lower halves were. Gerard had no means of escape or protest…not that he was going to escape or protest.

Everything started happening so quickly. Frank continued to dance or rather grind against Gerard to the music sending his blood rushing to all the wrong places but it just felt so good he couldn’t help but move against him as well. Frank’s breath was by his ear again

“Make sure she’s watching this.” He breathed in a deeper tone, like the one he used when he wanted to seduce him over the phone. It felt like suddenly Gerard’s skin was on fire, burning with the desire to touch even if it was just for show. Gerard found the girl and locked eyes with her for a few seconds as Frank’s hand traveled down grabbing his ass firmly, pushing their lower halves together more tightly and his lips attached to the side of his neck, just below his ear sucking on the skin lightly. Gerard could feel the cold metal lip ring being dragged against neck making him shiver pleasantly.

A moan rippled through Gerard’s mouth before he could stop it when Frank slightly bit and nibbled on the skin, and his hand found its way to Frank’s hair, tangling and tugging on it lightly while his other hand was keeping Frank in place by his waist. If he kept going like this, he was going to get hard. Gerard looked up at the girl again and saw her throw a disgusted look at them and shoved her way out of the crowd. He smiled to himself but he couldn’t bring himself to tell Frank she was gone, not when he was pressing his crotch against his creating wonderful friction. For now, he wanted to forget it was only for show and sink into Frank. It had been so long since he had been held so intimately like that and even then it didn’t feel as good as it felt now. Gerard was only one small step away from leaning into Frank’s ear, whispering ‘I want you’ and pulling him to the nearest bathroom stall.

He was already imagining Frank shoving him against the wall when he breathed against his ear again

“Is she gone?” he asked and though as much as Gerard wanted to be selfish and say no, he needed to stop thinking with his dick for one second.

“Yeah, it worked.” Gerard said back to him. Frank pulled away, giving his ass one last squeeze while smiling playfully.

“Hey you wanna head back to the bar? I’m kind of thirsty from all the dancing.” Frank shouted near his ear again. ‘ _well if you can call that dancing…_ ’ Gerard thought before nodding and following Frank out of the crowd. His face was still flushed and he had to keep replaying what he saw at the backstage to keep from getting any surprise tents in his jeans. Though, the damage was already done. If some while ago he didn’t care about being in a relationship with Frank then he did now. Just so he could kiss him senseless whenever he wanted.

“Whoa I actually feel pretty beat.” Frank confessed wiping the sweat of his forehead once they had gotten their drinks. All of the seats around the bar were taken so they had to stand around.

“I bet. You were trashing around like crazy earlier.” Gerard reminded him with a laugh.

“But that’s what you’re supposed to do at a gig!” Frank started making excuses “Anyway man I don’t think I’ll stay much longer.” He said on a serious note

“That’s alright. I’ll probably head home myself.” Gerard concluded. There wasn’t much for him to do alone at this club anyway.

They finished their beers having a few laughs, talking about the best bits of the night, except for the incredibly hot groping thing that went on between them. Maybe later on Gerard will get the guts to ask Frank out on a proper date, but he had done enough for the day. He set the deal straight and he fully got his friend back which was all he could hope for.

As they walked outside both of them lit a cigarette and enjoyed each other’s company for a few more minutes.

“Hey I’ll walk you to your car man, we’ll kill some more time.” Gerard proposed looking over the parking lot trying to imagine what kind of car someone like Frank could drive

“I don’t have a car, I actually came here with a bus. You know, contributing to saving the environment and shit.” Frank said with fake seriousness.

“So how will you get home?” Gerard asked concerned

“I’ll probably call a cab or something.” Frank said shrugging mindlessly while sucking on the poisonous stick making Gerard wonder how it would feel like having that mouth around- whoa getting off track again.

“C’mon I’ll give you a ride home.” Gerard said motioning for him to come with him.

Frank gave a few polite and reluctant ‘oh you don’t have to’s and ‘I can get home just fine’s before following him and finally settling in the front seat of his old, worn out, silver car.

“Tonight was really fun dude. We should really hang out like this more often.” Frank said strapping himself with the seatbelt

“Sure! For next time we can have that Lord of the Rings marathon.” Gerard said jokingly searching for his car keys.

Gerard roamed every pocket he had searching for those damn keys. When he found them he came aware of the fact that it was way too silent. His first thought was that Frank had fallen asleep but when he looked over Frank had a thoughtful expression on his face.

“We can still do that today if you’re up for it.” Frank said with a suggestive smile “I have a really good sound system at home.” Frank said raising his eyebrows. Gerard looked at his watch and saw that it was only midnight, then thought it over in his head for half a minute before saying

“I’ll just run by my house to get the DVD’s.” he said with a smile. He loved Frank’s spontaneous manner, he was never like that and it was sort of thrilling for Gerard to suddenly drop everything and change plans. Even if it wasn’t something wild or crazy, it was still enough to get Gerard excited.

“No need. I wasn’t lying when I said I had them too.” Frank said smiling as well

“No you don’t get it. See, I have the original set, they’re the extended versions and it’s on blue-ray wit-“

“with the commentaries and everything. Yeah I know I have the same one.” Frank finished Gerard’s sentence nodding along. Gerard stared at him with awe

“You’re kidding me.” he said incredulously “That is fucking awesome man.” he said starting the car “So I guess we’re going to your place then.”

…

The drive to Frank’s home wasn’t that long especially since both of them couldn’t shut up. They kept talking over one another, at first discussing that they’ll need some beer and maybe some pizza, then sharing stories of their previous marathons or their favorite characters from the trilogy. Frank was talking so much and so passionately that he almost forgot to point out to Gerard where he needed to turn.

Frank lived in a common neighborhood of tons and tons of apartments that all looked the same. Gerard felt almost privileged to get to visit his apartment. It was Frank’s personal space, his hive that, as he said himself, not many people have seen. The first impression upon entering was that the place was very homey, most of the things around were made of wood and it gave it that special smell along with cigarettes and ironed clothes. It was just a regular two room apartment but for Gerard, the fact that Frank lived here made it something really special.

Frank gave a short tour around his home, showing his tiny kitchen and his bedroom with a small desk that was littered in newspapers and comics, an electric guitar by his bed and a few posters on his walls that were faded or even a bit torn off.

“I know they’re a bit childish.” Frank said shrugging uncomfortably while showing the posters “but they were my only decorations for the first year when I moved here and I just didn’t have the guts to take them off.” He admitted smiling fondly

“They aren’t childish.” Gerard said burrowing his eyebrows and then looking at the Misfits, Black Flag and batman posters again “They’re really awesome. And even if they are childish then I guess I’m the biggest child there is.” Gerard said smiling lightly while Frank let out a short laugh.

They finally settled in the living room which had Frank’s most prized possession according to him. That was his large TV hanging on the wall with a large movie collection on the shelf under it. Frank found the movies they needed to see and went off to order some pizza and make some popcorn while Gerard admired his collection. Frank had almost every movie Gerard’s ever loved and more. Frank reentered the room and set a giant bowl of popcorns on the table.

“Pizza is on the way now let’s get this marathon started!” he said like he was preparing for a wild party instead spending about nine hours in front of a TV.

Gerard got back on the couch and Frank settled on it too slightly away from him. They plugged in the first movie and mouthed along the begging opening lines to it in unison and then proceeded to laugh at one another. Frank also brought a few beers so by the time they finished the pizza and the first movie they were a bit tipsy. Not exactly drunk, but enough to laugh at every single joke like it was the funniest thing ever.

It was during the second movie that they started talking more to each other than watching the movie. Somehow they led back to the show they saw earlier, discussing the quality of the music, vocals, lighting and every other thing imaginable

“I miss being in that environment so much.” Frank let out after a sigh and Gerard could tell he was more sober than he looked “I’ve ever done only a few gigs like that in my life but those nights were always so fucking incredible. The rush and the adrenaline from the loud music and hearing people cheer you on and knowing part of it were because of what you’re creating right now… that sort of feeling is irreplaceable.” Frank said looking down at his hands, going through the memories in his head.

“I wish I could say I know how that feels.” Gerard admitted “I mean drawing is my passion and my hobby and I like when people like my work but I don’t think it can amount the satisfaction you just described.” Gerard said shaking his head looking directly at Frank “That’s why you should really get back in that business.” Gerard concluded smiling at him

“Maybe I should…” Frank said quietly more to himself

“I mean it clearly means a lot to you and you get so psyched and excited just talking about it.” Gerard went on encouraging him.

“Yeah I know.” Frank said smiling involuntarily “But I haven’t played in so long, I’m rusty. Besides, most of my friends left me over time once I started working at the hotline, I wouldn’t know where to even begin to start a band.” Frank said looking down at his hands again. It was the first time Gerard had seen him insecure about something and his heart swelled with the need to make it all alright for him. People like him aren’t supposed to get stuck in a job they hate and lose their friends over it.

“I’m sure with a bit of practice you’ll remember.” Gerard said “Isn’t it like riding a bike?” he added with a laugh. Frank cracked a smile as well

“I don’t know I guess we’ll find out.” Frank said shrugging “Oh this is probably my favorite part of the movie.” He said pointing to the screen where the little hobbits were attempting to talk to the trees.

“Yeah that’s a great scene. Though, I loved the part where they were actually in action. I mean who knew trees could be so badass?” Gerard asked rhetorically.

“And about the opportunities…” Gerard continued their topic after a minute or so “I do have a brother who’s in the business and I’m sure he could make some calls and get you to join their band or at least direct you to the right people.” Gerard thought out loud. Frank’s head suddenly turned towards him along with his whole body.

“What? Are you serious?” he asked incredulously like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Yeah of course.” Gerard said in all seriousness “You have a dream and I have the connections to help you achieve it. I want you to be happy Frank.” Gerard said fondly and casually at the same time like it was the most obvious thing and to Gerard it was. While Frank had the same expression on his face he had a few days ago, a mixture of amazement and wonder while he stared at Gerard. And just like that Frank’s lips were on Gerard’s.

Gerard was surprised at the sudden contact and his first instinct was to push it away before actually realizing what was happening. Frank was left hanging over him with his hand on his face as he interpreted this as a rejection. Gerard’s sleep deprived and slightly dizzy head was still trying to comprehend what just happened and if it was real while Frank started apologizing taking his hands off him

“I’m so sorry, I thought that you-“ Frank shook his head getting embarrassed

“No, Frank it’s-“ Gerard’s head started working properly again and he just wanted to get Frank back on him

“You don’t have to explain man. This was my fault and I’m so sorry for-“ Frank went on not bearing to look at Gerard’s eyes while Gerard just had about enough of it

“Oh my god shut up” he said taking Frank’s face in his hands making him look at Gerard “and fucking kiss me already.” he said and waited for Frank to get it and for him to smile.

Frank leaned in again and this time Gerard was ready for him, still keeping both of his hands on his face he kissed back sweetly and lightly and even a bit lazily, just the way he imagined Frank would kiss. Frank had his hand placed lightly on Gerard’s arm as the both of them dragged their lips against one another’s not opening their mouths. They were simple kisses one after another but it was enough to make Gerard feel like his stomach was doing constant backflips.

It was only so long till Gerard couldn’t take it and opened his mouth and took Frank’s lower lip, nibbling on his piercing like he had dreamed since day one. Frank must’ve remembered it as well as he smiled against his mouth and let out a small noise of appreciation from his throat. Their kisses grew a bit deeper as they shuffled closer to one another and Gerard’s hand tangled in Frank’s hair again while the shorter man moved his hand to Gerard’s back, tracing it lightly with his fingers just like he used to describe over the phone. This time it was Gerard’s turn to let an appreciative noise out. It felt nothing like when he did it to himself, this time his whole body shivered and he couldn’t help but hold Frank even closer, tracing his lower lip with his tongue gently. Frank took that as an invitation for his tongue to enter his mouth in a way that could only be described as purely erotic.  

It wasn’t long until Gerard started letting out moans, holding Frank tighter and moving his lips against his almost urgently. Frank’s hand on his back was more firm now as well as it slid under Gerard’s shirt. He leaned forwards so that Gerard was lying on his back with Frank above him not once breaking away from his lips. Frank’s knee settled between Gerard’s legs, pressing down on his crotch with just the right amount of pressure. Gerard gasped at the sudden contact he had been aching for. Things were getting pretty heated and for a split second Gerard thought about turning off the movie but he couldn’t properly concentrate. How could he, when Frank was kissing him like nothing else in the world mattered?

Gerard finally tore his lips away to catch his breath while Frank wasted no time and dived in, attacking his jaw and neck with his lips. This time it was Gerard’s hands that went under Frank’s shirt, pulling it up as far as it could go before deciding that this wasn’t going to work.

“Bedroom.” Was all he could say and Frank was off of him as fast as he came on to him. He took Gerard’s hand helping him get up, intertwined their fingers together and led Gerard the few steps to his bedroom door. It was swung open with unnecessary force as Frank attached his lips back to Gerard’s roughly and their hands were pulling each other as close as possible

“Why didn’t you kiss me like that earlier? fuck…” Frank said in between the kissing and lip nibbling. His voice was much deeper and breathier making Gerard’s length twitch “We could’ve been spending this week much more productively.” He said with a smirk and went back to leaving hickeys on Gerard’s neck

“I didn’t even know you liked me like that.” Gerard admitted and let out a whimper as he felt Frank suddenly bite his neck. Frank tore away his attention from the hickey and looked at Gerard again slowing down his actions a bit

“Please even Bradley that cashier could see how madly in love with you I am.” Frank said with a small laugh and Gerard stopped his actions completely and stared into Frank’s eyes incredulously for a few seconds before leaning in and giving him the sweetest kiss he could. Frank cupped his face gently and kissed back just as softly. They stayed locked like that for a good minute or so before Gerard realized

“You know I love you too right?” he asked breaking away to look at Frank.

“Yeah I figured.” He answered a bit smugly though he had a soft and adoring expression on his face. Frank held Gerard by his waist as he spun them both around and led Gerard backwards to his bed. He climbed on top of him again but this time leaving loving and gentle kisses down his jaw and neck as he started unbuttoning Gerard’s shirt slowly.

Once Gerard’s shirt was on the ground the taller man grew impatient as well, tugging on Frank’s shirt. Frank smiled against his mouth and sat up throwing his shirt off the bed. For a moment Gerard thought he was going to start drooling at the sight he was seeing, he placed his hands on Frank’s sides and turned them over so that Gerard was now hovering over him. He wasted no time and attached his lips and dragged his tongue lightly along the art on his beautiful body. Frank’s moans sounded even more delicious than they did over the phone as Gerard traveled lower and lower down his torso until he reached two beautiful birds tattooed on his lower stomach. Gerard felt Frank’s fingers tangling in his hair and his hips started to twitch impatiently craving the contact. Gerard barely smirked and traveled back up kissing him deeply while his hand gently cupped him through his jeans making Frank shiver and groan right into Gerard’s mouth.

“Fucking tease.” Frank complained in his scratchy, lust driven voice as his hands moved downwards and started working on getting Gerard’s jeans off. Gerard smiled against his mouth and started doing the same to Frank, figuring there had been enough of teasing between them. Frank was having trouble pulling his tight pants down so he flipped both of them over again and pulled them down more easily along with his underwear.

Frank pulled down his own as well and climbed back on top of Gerard, both of them stark naked, and grinded both of their fully hard members together and got back to leaving hickeys on Gerard’s neck and collarbones. Both of them were panting loudly against one another as they rocked against each other. Gerard took the opportunity to reach down and grab Frank’s ass and push him even more against him. Frank, using his free hand, opened up the bottom drawer of his nightstand and took out a condom and some lube. Gerard turned his head to see what he was doing

“Is this alright?” Frank asked concerned wondering if he was moving too fast.

“Yes. God yes.” Gerard practically growled with the anticipation. Frank smirked, kissed him quickly and messily and got to prepping him. Gerard was having a hard time adjusting to the stretch at first but once Frank found that bundle of nerves he arched his back and started rocking against Frank’s fingers eagerly.

Frank kept placing soft gentle kisses all over Gerard’s face and neck as he lined himself up and gently pushed himself in watching as Gerard’s face winced slightly at the feeling. Frank stopped and held himself still, waiting for Gerard to adjust, kissing him just below his ear and whispering little sweet nothings. After a minute or so Frank felt Gerard’s muscles relax and saw him nod.

His movements were slow and gentle at first careful not to hurt him, until Gerard started pushing back against him impatiently. Both of their movements sped up as a thin layer sweat covered their bodies and their panting was growing louder, eventually turning into deep breathy moans.

Gerard always thought that sex with Frank was going to be hot, rough and messy, just like it was with their phone calls, but this was so much better. It was sweet and gentle and loving, the way it should be between two people who were completely crazy about each other. It was pure intimacy.

It wasn’t long before Frank sped up even more losing his rhythm while kissing Gerard senseless and moving his hand to jack him off. Gerard’s hips started hitching and trashing like mad from the feeling of Frank’s strong hand stroking him so firmly.

Frank was the one who came first with a loud groan and it took Gerard a few more good strokes to finish off as well. Frank kissed him softly after calming down and breathed another ‘I love you’ against his lips, which made Gerard smile uncontrollably, before he hopped down from the bed and returned with some fresh wet towels to clean both of them off.

“You really _do_ have that jack-o-lantern tattoo on your back.” Gerard said sleepily while lying on his side as Frank got a blanket to cover both of them. He remembered Frank telling him about it the first time they spoke over the phone

“Well I really like it and I think I just wanted to show off when I told you that.” Frank admitted smiling as Gerard snuggled up next to him the moment he laid down.

“Hey can I ask you something and I know it may seem like a ridiculous question but… when we uh spoke over the hotline, did you ever fake it?” Gerard asked growing a bit red in the face. Frank merely laughed it off quietly

“The very first time I didn’t because it had been a long time since I got off and I could hear people moaning from the other rooms while talking to clients and I was just ready to get off with the next person who called which happened to be you.” Frank admitted “and from then on I just enjoyed living in that fantasy world with you…so no I guess I didn’t.” he said proudly. The both of them were already dozing off a bit but that didn’t stop Gerard from asking questions

“What made you realize it was me in that bookshop?” he asked in a slurred voice while his eyes were already shut. Frank laughed slightly again

“You mean beside the fact that you and you character had the exact same interests, job and face?” he asked ironically but after a pause he answered “Though honestly it was the first time I made you laugh. You have a very specific laugh so it was easy to put two and two together from there.” Frank answered looking down but Gerard was already sleeping happily. Frank smiled to himself while looking at the wonderful man who was breathing evenly and peacefully against his chest, closed his eyes as well and started to doze off while listening to the faint sounds of the movie The Two Towers coming to an end in the other room. 


End file.
